relationships

I have known Earl Gladstone Barbour, Jr for six years now, four of which he has been my father-in-law/love. I just wish we had more time together. Last night, on July 20, 2008, he made his transition and died peacefully at home after a courageous battle with lung cancer.

I often do an exercise with my coaching clients called "Standards and Boundaries" that helps us look at the relationships in our lives and how we want to live with more intention. One of the activities encourages you to list five role models in your life. Earl is on my list. Why?

Because Earl is one of the few people I know who absolutely 100% lived his life by the golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Earl had a strong faith in God. He put family first. He was incredibly giving. And he loved life.

He adored his wife Jo Anne and his son Eric, he loved his step-daughters Susan and Molly and he doted on his five grandchildren Nathan, Matthew, Sophie, Hannah and Tess. He was beloved by all who knew him and his presence will be sorely missed.

When I asked my husband last night to describe his father in just a few words, he said loyal, loving, generous and servant. That about captures it. I want to live my life like that.

So to Earl, my dear father-in-love, I know that they are having a huge celebration in heaven right now and you are the guest of honor! As we grieve for the loss of your bright light on this Earth, know that your spirit will live on in our hearts and minds until it is our turn to join you at the big party in the sky! I love you!

I co-facilitated a women's retreat last week with my dear friend and colleague Licia Berry at Ghost Ranch in Abiquiu, NM and guess who lives 15 minutes down the road? That's right - Judy!!!

After two years of relationship - and coaching can be a very personal, intimate, deep connection - we finally got to meet in person! It was wonderful!

I love the phone and I love e-mail and I've made authentic connections with people all over the world this way. But somehow a hug in person is just the best.

Judy introduced me to her husband, Wayne and her horses Jack, Madonna and Guapito. I soaked in all the details about her home, land and business. I'd heard about these for years and even seen photos but it's just not the same as being in person.

You can learn more about her business at Healing Through Horses. Thank you, Judy, for attending our retreat and for welcoming me to New Mexico with open arms! It was a joy to spend time with you!

My dear friend Licia Berry and I have finally done it! After months of talking about it (mostly Licia bugging me saying 'c'mon, Elizabeth - it's fun!' - she has 2 successful radio shows already on the air), we have launched The Celebration Station on Blog Talk Radio.

Our first episode is called "Much Ado About Mamas" and we spend 30 minutes talking about the mother figures in our lives - both the external real live women in our lives and the internal mothering we give to ourselves.

We chose this as our first topic because of the upcoming Mother's Day holiday and our Loving Your Inner Feminine retreat in New Mexico on Saturday, May 10th.

Whether you can join us in New Mexico or simply want to take time reflecting on the mothers in your life and the mothering you give to yourself, I encourage you to click here to listen, learn and be inspired to celebrate all that you've learned from the mothers in your life and be reminded that even once you're grown, you can still mother yourself!

I know for sure that in the final analysis of our lives - when the to-do lists are no more, when the frenzy is finished, when our e-mail boxes are empty - the only thing that will have any lasting value is whether we've loved others and whether they've loved us. -- Oprah Winfrey

I know a lot of people consider Valentine's Day a "Hallmark holiday" --- one that has been overcommercialized and forced and stuffed down our throats. They say it's only a holiday because the media and retailers say it's so.

But I say, what's so bad about a holiday that celebrates love? What's so bad about expressing how you really feel to the people that you care about? OK OK so maybe we don't need all that chocolate and we certainly don't need to rack up credit card debt to impress people with material s-t-u-f-f but seriously folks... taking time out to

- write words of endearment to your sweetheart in a card or letter

- actually go out on a date (a candelight picnic in your living room can actually be more romantic than a big night out on the town!)

- spend time with friends and family laughing and celebrating love and life

- treat yourself to a bubble bath or anything else that makes you feel good about yourself

...well, I think these things are wonderful!

Valentine's Day reminds us to be more mindful and conscious of expressing our love. If more people said "I love you" every day to their partners, their parents, their children, their friends I think the world would be a better place.

One of my happy memories of childhood is getting ready for bed and going to each parent, hugging and kissing them and saying "I love you" and hearing it in return. Now in my marriage, we go through a similar ritual every night. There is peace and comfort in hearing that you are loved and in expressing it to another. Some people say that "the L word" is overused, but I never tire of hearing it - or saying it.

I love you dear readers, dear friends, dear family! Happy Valentine's Day!