personal

I have known Earl Gladstone Barbour, Jr for six years now, four of which he has been my father-in-law/love. I just wish we had more time together. Last night, on July 20, 2008, he made his transition and died peacefully at home after a courageous battle with lung cancer.

I often do an exercise with my coaching clients called "Standards and Boundaries" that helps us look at the relationships in our lives and how we want to live with more intention. One of the activities encourages you to list five role models in your life. Earl is on my list. Why?

Because Earl is one of the few people I know who absolutely 100% lived his life by the golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Earl had a strong faith in God. He put family first. He was incredibly giving. And he loved life.

He adored his wife Jo Anne and his son Eric, he loved his step-daughters Susan and Molly and he doted on his five grandchildren Nathan, Matthew, Sophie, Hannah and Tess. He was beloved by all who knew him and his presence will be sorely missed.

When I asked my husband last night to describe his father in just a few words, he said loyal, loving, generous and servant. That about captures it. I want to live my life like that.

So to Earl, my dear father-in-love, I know that they are having a huge celebration in heaven right now and you are the guest of honor! As we grieve for the loss of your bright light on this Earth, know that your spirit will live on in our hearts and minds until it is our turn to join you at the big party in the sky! I love you!

Life is busy. Life is full. Life is complicated. I get sidetracked. Or I get stingy. Or I just plain forget.

But I have a roof over my head and food on my table and I can afford gas for my car. I am very, very, very grateful for the wonderful life that I have and for the opportunities that I've been given.

Sometimes I need a little nudge, a reminder, that a little money goes a long way.

One of my favorite inspirational websites www.tut.com is starting a great program called "Gifts from the Universe" and this month they are highlighting the Global giving Relief Funds for China and Myanmar. Click here to donate. I just did.

It's easy. It's fast. And it matters.

The saying "Think Globally, Act Locally" is a good one but I also think that "Think Globally, Act Globally" is equally important in these trying times.

Eileen is my friend who I call "the fun time girl" because she's the life of the party! We found just about everything worth giggling about during her wedding weekend! (Here she is getting ready being tended to by Jennifer, her maid of honor, and Mista, a fellow bridesmaid.)

I've determined that there are 4 key ingredients to make any gathering - a wedding, birthday party, holiday gathering or simply dinner with neighbors - a smashing success!

1. Family and Friends - it may be stating the obvious but the best celebrations in life involve the people we love the most. Weddings in particular are a wonderfully special time where all aspects of your life (from childhood to now!) can collide for a brief few hours. Eileen and Lars had people from all over the country (and 3 from overseas!) fly in for the weekend. It requires energy and effort on everyone's part but the end result is often priceless!

2. Ambiance - finding the right location and setting the mood for your gathering makes all the difference in the world. Eileen knew that she wanted to get married at the beach. Even though the weather didn't cooperate for the bridal party to take photos on the sand, just being near the ocean with the salty air and the breeze put everyone in the spirit!

3. Planning with Intention - Eileen comes from a large Irish Catholic family from New Jersey - Lars comes from a small Baptist family from Georgia. Definitely two different worlds! So they combined elements of the two to make for a rich experience for all. For example, during their ceremony, two of the readings were from their favorite performers - Alan Jackson and Jon Bon Jovi!

4. Sacred Elements - there were many holy and divinely inspired moments during the weekend. Exchanging vows is usually a very sacred ritual and their Celtic hand tying ceremony was touching and beautiful. Another sacred moment came when Eileen's three nieces did a dance routine they'd learned in school. Perhaps it wasn't a "traditional" sacred moment but anything that inspires delight, bring joys or move people to tears is considered sacred in my book.

My favorite part of the whole weekend was when Dexie's Midnight Runners (remember them?!) blasted "Come On Eileen!" and the place went wild! Eileen's brothers hoisted her up on their shoulders, everyone rushed to the dance floor to boogie and there was my friend for 17 years ~ Bean~ beaming in the middle of the crowd of friends and family as she kicked up her heels with her new husband.

It doesn't get much more sacred and precious than that!

Yoga has been such a gift in my life since I moved to Florida last summer. I had done yoga on and off over the years but with no real "practice" to speak of. Now I attend classes twice a week at Namaste in Tallahassee - Mondays with Kathy and Geralyn and Thursdays with Charlene - and feel dynamite as a result!

If you are seeking:

- Clarity of mind

- Connection to Source

- A strong and fit body (relieve tension, improve flexibility, strengthen your core)

- Community of like minded people

then I highly recommend yoga - no matter where you live or what you do or who you are. It's important to find a style that works for you and a teacher that you can trust. I like the non-competitive style of classes at Namaste... my teachers emphasize over and over again "do what's right for you!"

Yesterday Kathy and Geralyn taught us the three A's and as I've been contemplating them for 24 hours, I realize that the three A's can be applied in all areas of your life - not just in yoga class!

1. Awareness - Notice how you're feeling. Notice your body. Notice your environment. Simply pay attention and listen for messages.

2. Acceptance - Don't judge yourself! Stop worrying about "do I look funny?" or "he's doing it better than I am" or "I'm not good enough". Start acknowledging that you're perfect exactly as you are and with what you're doing.

3. Adjustment - Move toward what feels good. Making subtle changes can give you great rewards. And sometimes, stopping what you're doing and trying something completely different is  the answer. Experiment and see what fits for you.

Christmas, like so many holidays, is a good reason for friends and loved ones to come together and celebrate something that matters to them. I believe the essence of this wonderful holiday is all about love, family, togetherness, generosity and appreciation.

We had a great time laughing, playing games, telling stories and simply enjoying being together.

We teased Kathy (my birthmom!) that her house looked goofy decorated with Santa Claus and snowmen in February but she didn't care. She was just delighted to have the whole family together, to have Brad safely home from Iraq and to share the spirit of love and giving with everyone. 

Christmas in February? Yeah, a little goofy. Sure, a bit out of place. But OH so much fun!

Eric and I in our new home, Tallahassee, FL

December 2007

It's HOT down here... in the 70s and while it certainly is beautiful weather - blue sky, white puffy clouds, green, lush foliage - it's still HOT! For me, it's kind of like scuba diving which I never could get a hang of. Breathing underwater is just not natural. And having this kind of weather and decorating palm trees in December is just WEIRD! People say I"ll get used to it, but I miss the cooler weather of the mountains.

So, I'm dreaming of SNOW to keep me cool! I'm good at visualization but a photo helps.

This photo was taken of me and my dear friend Licia Berry on a trip to Colorado last year. It was VERY cold and there was LOTS of snow. YAY! Well, Licia and her family are escaping their cold environs for a week and are coming to Florida over the holidays. I'm so excited I get to see her and her sweet family! Many of my blog readers know Licia because she used to live in Asheville too! Check out her family's amazing adventures of traveling the country by visiting their family website.

Not only do we get to visit together, we are going to PLAY together in a formal way! On New Year's Day, we are hosting a workshop for women called "Create a Great 2008!" in Tallahassee from 3-6 p.m. We'll be doing guided imagery, collaging and setting clear intentions for the year ahead. Juicy, fun stuff!

Forget football, come join us on New Year's Day! You can register here.

And if you don't live in the Big Bend area, consider organizing a gathering yourself on New Year's Day! It's a fun way to kick off the new year with intention and joy! Need help? E-mail me for ideas!

She's a wise woman. She knows I am very conscious and well-educated about my health issues and the choices I make. (I've been receiving acupuncture and other forms of alternative medicine for a decade or more.)

Once again, I was defaulting to our society's familiar notion "Ask the experts. They can fix me. " instead of relying on my body's own wisdom and innate knowledge.

I've had my head in the sand for the past few months, eating foods that "comfort" me but don't bode well for my digestion. I've had my head in the sand choosing to lay on the couch and watch mindless soap operas instead of taking my dog out for an afternoon walk. I've had my head in the sand avoiding seeking medical support and hoping that my health issues would "just go away".

How refreshing to have a health care practitioner who essentially said to me in very polite and professional terms "Get your head out of the sand and look at what you're doing! Trust your body. Stop ignoring the signals! Trust yourself! Listen to your intuition!"

That's one thing I love about holistic health care. By and large, these practitioners partner with you to cultivate the wisdom in your body to promote healing. They don't feign to be "experts" or to "know it all".

So... I do know what to do... how to eat well, how to exercise properly and how to nourish myself physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

My head is out of the sand once again and it's so much easier to breathe up here! :-)

What do you have your head in the sand about?

(By the way, the photo is of our dog, Andy, with his head in the sand at Cape San Blas this past weekend. He was actually digging for a sand crab but I thought this photo seemed somewhat appropos...!)

Percy (foreground), Graham (on the left) and Jasper (in the background) are happy to help me with my work.

Problem is, there's barely enough room for ME at my desk! :-)