inspirational

The wildly successful author of the Harry Potter book series delivers her 2008 commencement address "The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination."

Click here to watch the video or read the transcript. Funny, poignant, inspiring! Well worth your time!

Eileen is my friend who I call "the fun time girl" because she's the life of the party! We found just about everything worth giggling about during her wedding weekend! (Here she is getting ready being tended to by Jennifer, her maid of honor, and Mista, a fellow bridesmaid.)

I've determined that there are 4 key ingredients to make any gathering - a wedding, birthday party, holiday gathering or simply dinner with neighbors - a smashing success!

1. Family and Friends - it may be stating the obvious but the best celebrations in life involve the people we love the most. Weddings in particular are a wonderfully special time where all aspects of your life (from childhood to now!) can collide for a brief few hours. Eileen and Lars had people from all over the country (and 3 from overseas!) fly in for the weekend. It requires energy and effort on everyone's part but the end result is often priceless!

2. Ambiance - finding the right location and setting the mood for your gathering makes all the difference in the world. Eileen knew that she wanted to get married at the beach. Even though the weather didn't cooperate for the bridal party to take photos on the sand, just being near the ocean with the salty air and the breeze put everyone in the spirit!

3. Planning with Intention - Eileen comes from a large Irish Catholic family from New Jersey - Lars comes from a small Baptist family from Georgia. Definitely two different worlds! So they combined elements of the two to make for a rich experience for all. For example, during their ceremony, two of the readings were from their favorite performers - Alan Jackson and Jon Bon Jovi!

4. Sacred Elements - there were many holy and divinely inspired moments during the weekend. Exchanging vows is usually a very sacred ritual and their Celtic hand tying ceremony was touching and beautiful. Another sacred moment came when Eileen's three nieces did a dance routine they'd learned in school. Perhaps it wasn't a "traditional" sacred moment but anything that inspires delight, bring joys or move people to tears is considered sacred in my book.

My favorite part of the whole weekend was when Dexie's Midnight Runners (remember them?!) blasted "Come On Eileen!" and the place went wild! Eileen's brothers hoisted her up on their shoulders, everyone rushed to the dance floor to boogie and there was my friend for 17 years ~ Bean~ beaming in the middle of the crowd of friends and family as she kicked up her heels with her new husband.

It doesn't get much more sacred and precious than that!

This is the e-mail message I received from TUT today.

"Kindness always wins, Elizabeth.

Always, always, always.

-- The Universe"

I really needed to hear that. In the past two weeks, I've noticed myself getting angry and agitated a lot - mostly at other people. I'm not easily upset so I've been looking for the gift in these situations. What am I to learn from these experiences?

"Do I know the whole story?" 

Eric and I received poor customer service a few weeks ago when renting a condo down at the beach. I got really angry that the employee was rude to us, that they messed up our reservation, etc. But after taking time to reflect as I walked the beach (always a great place to contemplate life!) I realized that I didn't know the whole story.

Maybe that employee had a horrible morning and was late to work. Maybe someone important to her had hurt her or was sick or had died. Maybe she felt trapped in a job she didn't enjoy. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

By considering all the possible options, I was able to realize that her treatment of us wasn't because we had done something wrong but was a symptom of something happening in her life. Something I wasn't aware of. Something that had nothing to do with me/us.

Making this discovery allowed me to have more compassion for her. I had initially filled out the guest comment survey and wanted her manager to know of my dissatisfaction. But I decided not to mail it afterall. That would only service my ego and give it the illusion of being powerful and "right". Instead, my authentic self, my spirit self just wants to send that employee my good thoughts and compassion and hope that she was just having a bad day.

Acting with kindness and releasing that anger and negativity feels very freeing. I am once again reminded that stepping back, asking "Do I know the whole story?" and not making assumptions or judgements is a very loving, authentic and powerful place from which to live your life.

Where have you had a similar experience in your life?

Yoga has been such a gift in my life since I moved to Florida last summer. I had done yoga on and off over the years but with no real "practice" to speak of. Now I attend classes twice a week at Namaste in Tallahassee - Mondays with Kathy and Geralyn and Thursdays with Charlene - and feel dynamite as a result!

If you are seeking:

- Clarity of mind

- Connection to Source

- A strong and fit body (relieve tension, improve flexibility, strengthen your core)

- Community of like minded people

then I highly recommend yoga - no matter where you live or what you do or who you are. It's important to find a style that works for you and a teacher that you can trust. I like the non-competitive style of classes at Namaste... my teachers emphasize over and over again "do what's right for you!"

Yesterday Kathy and Geralyn taught us the three A's and as I've been contemplating them for 24 hours, I realize that the three A's can be applied in all areas of your life - not just in yoga class!

1. Awareness - Notice how you're feeling. Notice your body. Notice your environment. Simply pay attention and listen for messages.

2. Acceptance - Don't judge yourself! Stop worrying about "do I look funny?" or "he's doing it better than I am" or "I'm not good enough". Start acknowledging that you're perfect exactly as you are and with what you're doing.

3. Adjustment - Move toward what feels good. Making subtle changes can give you great rewards. And sometimes, stopping what you're doing and trying something completely different is  the answer. Experiment and see what fits for you.

Neale Donald Walsch's Home with God ~ In a Life That Never Ends literally sprouted legs and packed itself in my suitcase a few weeks ago for a weekend trip. Eric & I have been dealing with grief and loss the past few months with the death of a friend, the serious illness of a close family member and the transition from leaving our beloved Asheville to our new home in beautiful Tallahassee. It's all left me searching for answers to questions I didn't realize I had.

One of my best friends has been bugging me to read this book for two years now. I am finally ready to receive it. One of the primary messages I have received from this book is that if we can learn to accept death and not fear it, then we can fully embrace life.

I have done a lot of underlining and dog-earing this book but the "100 Word Formula for All of Life" is worthy of sharing here.

Hope is the doorway to belief, belief is the doorway to knowing, knowing is the doorway to creation, and creation is the doorway to experience.

Experience is the doorway to expression, expression is the doorway to becoming, becoming is the activity of all life and the only function of God.

What you hope, you will eventually believe, what you believe, you will eventually know, what you know, you will eventually create, what you create, you will eventually experience, what you experience, you will eventually express, what you express, you will eventually become.

This is the formula for all of life. It is as simple as that.

Thoughts? Comments? Was this as powerful for you as it was for me when I first read it? You can read more about Neale Donald Walsch and his work here.

I've talked with several clients in the past few weeks about this notion of self care and I'm amazed at how many of us resist this idea. We are programmed to take care of others, put others' needs and concerns before our own, give, give, give until it hurts and then give some more.

What's the end result usually? We end up wearing cranky pants! We become tired, overworked, overwhelmed, under appreciated, resentful, unhealthy, cranky, crabby and noone wants to hang out with us and then we don't even want to hang out with ourselves anymore because we are miserable.

That is not a fun way to live and if you recognize elements of this in your own life, I encourage you to stop now and take a hard look. You can make some changes right now that will benefit you for the short-term and the long-term! 

Claiming Elizabeth's Year of Extreme Self Care reminds me that I deserve to treat myself with love and attention.  What are the benefits? 

- I am balanced, happy and whole

- I feel solid and confident about my life and who I am

- I am able to be fully present for the people in my life (family, friends, clients, colleagues) who need me

- I'm more fun to be around because I am enjoying life

- I'm more productive in every area of my life

- I'm a more insightful coach, a more loving wife, a patient and caring friend, an enthusiastic networker who enjoys meeting new people

What if you claimed this year as YOUR year of Extreme Self Care? How could that change your life?

How about you? Do you have a problem relaxing?

The crazy thing is, I thought I was doing a good job of being relaxed. I've been eating healthy and going for walks and spending time with my husband and friends.

But I think it's more than that. It's bigger than that. I think I need to be looking at the bigger picture of my life.

I think this is probably going to be my theme for 2008. Or at least a sub-theme!

I just started teaching the January Jumpstart Program this week and in the first module, I'm asking participants to tease out their goals for the year which will utimately lead them to their "theme for the year".

As I was pondering the homework I gave the class the other day, I realized that I need to remind people to look at not only what do I want to accomplish this year? ("the norm" for goal setting) but also

What do I want to EXPERIENCE this year?

How do I want to FEEL?

How do I want my life to be DIFFERENT and more ____________________(joyful, playful, loving, creative, dazzling, peaceful, etc) than it currently is?

I think if we focus more on the desire of BE-ing and less on the DO-ing that it eliminates stress and expectation and we have more freedom and passion to pursue our goals and dreams!  

I think I'll go relax now...

Check out Damaris Pierce's website to see my inspired artwork (yep, that's mine right there on the home page as soon as you open it!) or visit www.iamthankful.com to learn more about Damaris' project to encourage people everywhere to express their gratitude. It's some really cool stuff that she's up to and I, for one, am honored to participate.

During this season of giving, perhaps you can express your gratitude in a postcard and send it in to Damaris' Worldwide Gratitude Project. Pretty cool, eh? :-)

P.S. This would be a great activity to do with children during the holiday season...

In our "Get Off the Holiday Crazy Bus" teleclass last week, Licia Berry and I had a terrific group of wise women who shared some wonderful strategies for practicing self-care during the hectic holiday season.

1. Honor How You Feel. This time of year is touted to be festive and fun and yet a lot of us experience complex emotions like grief and sadness and depression. Allow those feelings to be part of your experience and seek professional help from a therapist or personal help from a friend or family member to support you if you need it.

2. Spend Time In Nature. As one participant explained it "My whole system relaxes. I get away from the 'doing' and focus on the 'being'. I get to soak in what's real and I feel centered and grateful." So whether it's a hike in the woods or simply sitting on your back porch for a few minutes each day, time outside can do wonders for the spirit.

3. Be Playful. Be intentional about seeking fun and laughter during this time of year. Watch the Comedy Channel, go to a comedy club, see a silly play, spend time with children and/or pets and just laugh. It will boost your spirits for sure!

4.Thursday night bubble baths!

5. Get regular massage.

6. Meditate and stretch. Daily.

7. Listen to good music. Whatever makes you feel VIBRANT.

8. Enjoy good food. Whether you are cooking it or eating it, make eating healthy, yummy, nourishing food part of your holiday season. Bless your food and express gratitude for the fuel that keeps you juiced up and alive!

And just for kicks... the one that had us all rolling with laughter... when all else fails...

9. Eat ice cream out of the carton! :-)

The group was founded by Diana Kennedy, a ministerial assistant at Unity Church, a massage therapist and all around inspired woman! I'm delighted to finally meet this charismatic, high-energy lover of life. If she weren't moving, I'm sure this is someone with whom I would become good friends. But Diana has another calling - she's headed to the midwest to go to ministerial school and seems to be following her true path.

I can tell the Tallahassee community is sad to see her leave and yet she's created at least one experience that is sure to live on after she's gone. The Goddess Luncheon, which meets monthly, is for women who self-proclaim to be goddesses! People were festively dressed, Diana sprinkled us all with fairy dust and waved her magic wand and we all felt loved and supported.

The conversation was 100% positive and uplifting. Women talked about "creating our reality" and "leading with love and light". There was mention of The Secret, Abraham-Hicks, TUT and more! It's so refreshing to meet like-minded folks!

I will definitely be back and am thankful to have met so many inspired and inspiring women! Thank you, Tallahassee, for welcoming me with open arms. I feel like I am finding my tribe!

Self Care Strategy:

Turn off all the lights, make yourself a cup of tea, and enjoy the warm glow of a Christmas tree late at night while others are asleep

Gift Giving Strategy:

Shop locally! Buy gifts that you can't get at the mall. That way, they'll be unique and you'll support local businesses.

Gift Receiving Strategy:

Tell people exactly what you would like or need for the holidays. Make a wish list. Be clear. You help your friends and family know what to get you ... and you get something that will make you happy!

Holiday Card Sending Strategy:

In each person's card, share with them the following: "What I really appreciate about you is..."

Decorating Strategy:

Only put out what you really really really love. Go through the rest and donate to your favorite charity so you don't have to store it or unpack it again next year and groan.

Family Strategy:

When gathered with relatives, ask everyone to share their favorite holiday memories. You'll probably learn some things you never knew (asking grandparents to participate in this is always special) and be reminded of holiday traditions that you may choose to resurrect.

Care to add any of your own? Please comment!

Intellectually, I know that making new friends takes time when you move to a new place. I've moved 8 times in 16 years. I've got experience. I know this in my brain.

But I was allowing myself to get caught up in the pity party and get dragged into the muck "Oh this is so hard. Oh I miss my friends. I feel so sad. I'm lonely. blah blah blah"

Well, I've been listening to Sonia Choquette's Trust Your Vibes CD set lately and I listened to a particularly powerful segment on Monday morning. She said when you want to shake things up and really set powerful intentions, start your day (and continue throughout the day as you're inspired) with stating the following:

I LOVE MY LIFE!

I EXPECT GREAT THINGS!

I WONDER WHAT WONDERFUL THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN FOR ME TODAY!

So, I decided to try it that day.

Within 48 hours, I was contacted by at least 4 different people saying "Hey, we heard you're new to town. Welcome!" and inviting me to various things - workshops, lunch, going for a walk, etc.

Now, I realize that I have been planting seeds for making connections for a few months now. But I don't think it's just coincidence that once I finally made up my mind that I was ready to receive, that the Universe rewarded me immediately.

Try it. Use Sonia's words. Watch and see what happens. And let me know about it...

You can view Shonnie's thoughtful blog entry here.

I like to think that I live my life with an "attitude of gratitude". Sometimes it's only for 5 minutes at the end of a day where I take time to count my blessings. Other times, it's several times throughout the day that I'll say a quick prayer of thanks to acknowledge I know that my life is really quite amazing (like on my recent trip to St. Thomas - more on that in a future blog!).

Shonnie asked "How has gratitude changed your life?" My responses are below:

1. Gratitude anchors me in the JOY and BLISS of being alive. Taking time to express gratitude allows me to celebrate the little moments that make life extraordinary. Enjoying a sunset, holding a hand, listening to classical music, smelling a rose, watching the first snow fall... these make life worth living!

2. Gratitude removes me from the DRAMA of being human. Stepping back from my ego-self allows me to live more fully in my spirit-self. From this place, there is no drama and only the unfolding of what is with no judgment and only love.

3. Gratitude helps me to SLOW DOWN. It's so easy to get caught up in "go, go, go" and "do, do, do" but taking time to acknowledge when you're grateful is a great time to stop and breathe deeply.

4. Gratitude helps me to be more INTENTIONAL with my choices. Whether it's spending my time, my energy or my dollars, being aware of where I'm grateful helps me make smart choices. For example, I'm so grateful to have found Namaste, my yoga studio here in Tallahassee, so I make it a point to go to yoga weekly.

Shonnie also asked "What most profoundly evokes your gratitude?" For me, it's...

- Spending quality time with loved ones (human and furry!)

- Travel and getting a new perspective on the world

- Lightbulb moments that my clients experience in a 1:1 coaching session, teleclass or workshop and knowing that I am of service in that moment

- News of my brother Bradley and knowing he's safe. He's a Marine and has been stationed in Iraq for almost a year now.

- Hiking in the woods or walking by the ocean on a sunny day

So, dear reader, how has gratitude changed your life? What most profoundly evokes your gratitude? I invite you to comment below.

She's a wise woman. She knows I am very conscious and well-educated about my health issues and the choices I make. (I've been receiving acupuncture and other forms of alternative medicine for a decade or more.)

Once again, I was defaulting to our society's familiar notion "Ask the experts. They can fix me. " instead of relying on my body's own wisdom and innate knowledge.

I've had my head in the sand for the past few months, eating foods that "comfort" me but don't bode well for my digestion. I've had my head in the sand choosing to lay on the couch and watch mindless soap operas instead of taking my dog out for an afternoon walk. I've had my head in the sand avoiding seeking medical support and hoping that my health issues would "just go away".

How refreshing to have a health care practitioner who essentially said to me in very polite and professional terms "Get your head out of the sand and look at what you're doing! Trust your body. Stop ignoring the signals! Trust yourself! Listen to your intuition!"

That's one thing I love about holistic health care. By and large, these practitioners partner with you to cultivate the wisdom in your body to promote healing. They don't feign to be "experts" or to "know it all".

So... I do know what to do... how to eat well, how to exercise properly and how to nourish myself physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

My head is out of the sand once again and it's so much easier to breathe up here! :-)

What do you have your head in the sand about?

(By the way, the photo is of our dog, Andy, with his head in the sand at Cape San Blas this past weekend. He was actually digging for a sand crab but I thought this photo seemed somewhat appropos...!)

"The food we eat, the thoughts we think and the words we speak create how we feel about ourselves now and in the future."

"The definition of enlightenment is being willing to look within and see ourselves without judgment."

Wise woman, eh?

I saw inspirational powerhouse speakers and authors Louise Hay, Caroline Myss, Doreen Virtue, Sonia Choquette, Colette Baron-Reid and Denise Linn. The overarching theme of the weekend was the notion that our intuition, what several speakers referred to as our "sixth sense", is one of our greatest resources. They talked about the exhaustion and frustration of being controlled by our ego as compared to the joy and ease of being led by our spirit.

I will be exploring the topic more in depth in the coming weeks but for now, I want you to consider the following:

- How does your intuition speak to you? In feelings, physically ("my gut tells me..."), words ("the little voice in my head..."), symbols, coincidence or serendipitous occurrences, or simply a knowing?

- When does your intuition speak to you? When you are... praying? meditating? in the shower? making an important decision? petting your cat or walking your dog?

- What does your intuition say? "Talk to that person at the meeting", "Turn right here", "Take next Friday off", "write that down!", "quit your job", "cancel that meeting", "change lanes now!" even when those things don't make logical sense to our ego mind?

I have worked hard at developing (look at that ego language, will you?!)... let me try again... I have been more open and ready to listen to my intuition in the last few years. And what a positive and profound difference it has made in my life!

More on this topic soon...