My boss is really a smart woman. Unfortunately, I don't always listen to her. But I'm working on changing that.

She's always whispering to me. A sweet nothing that sounds something like...

"Get up for a 10 min stretch break."

"Go walk the dog."

"Ask for help."

"Slow down."

"You don't have to do everything at once!"

"Breathe."

Some days, I listen to these gentle requests and I feel great when I do. I am able to stay focused and motivated and on task with my work during the day so I can focus on family and fun and rest in the evenings.

But other days, I brush her sage advice away. I work harder. I type faster. I multi-task more. And what happens? I usually end up not getting as much done, work later into the evenings because I think I "should" and am exhausted at the end of the day.

So the question I've been asking myself lately (and my boss supports this question, too! I did run it by her wise counsel) to help me discern when to rest and when to work harder is...

"What will give me the most relief right now?"

Some days, it's absolutely getting up from the computer and walking away for a bit. Or spending time in nature to reconnect to my creative self. Or reaching out to a colleague and asking for advice on a problem I've been noodling on.

But other days, the answer is to focus even more - batch my phone calls, turn off e-mail so I can write an article, make a list (a realistic one) and be able to check off everything on that list by the end of the day. Because then I will feel a sense of accomplishment and my mind will be clear heading into the evening or the weekend.

I find that when I listen to my body's wisdom I always win. The body will always choose relief and feeling good as the preferred choice! I have never subscribed to the old saying of "No Pain, No Gain" I think that's a bunch of hooey!

So the next time you feel stumped at work - perhaps have low energy or feel foggy headed or are just not sure what to do next - ask yourself what's the fastest way to relief? And see where it takes you...!

I just returned from the land of Walt Disney where I watched the fireworks over Epcot from my hotel balcony each night. Inside the Marriott World Center Resort, there were fireworks of a different kind going off.

Speakers from around the globe came together for the NSA annual conference and the results were explosive! Here are some key concepts I gleaned from a few of the speakers --- I hope that you will find some sparks of inspiration here as well.

1. Lenora Billings Harris encouraged... When someone says "You were great!" ask them "Please tell me why. What resonated for you?" If you're speaking or serving the world with your gifts and talents, it helps you to know where people truly connect with you and your message.

2. Chris Clarke-Epstein suggested... Always carry a journal. You'll get brilliant ideas in random places and it's important to capture them in an idea notebook or creativity journal.

3. Gary Rifkin shared... There are 6 steps to being excellent on stage. Prepare. Prepare. Prepare. Practice. Practice. Practice. If you do these, it will give you freedom to be authentic when you show up.

4. Nido Qubein inspired... Invest 1/3 of your life in earning, 1/3 of your life in learning and 1/3 of your life in serving. Brilliant wisdom from a wildly successful businessman. 

5. Stephen Tweed reminded... "What gets measured gets managed. What gets rewarded gets repeated." Makes me want to pull out Michael Gerber's E-Myth and brush up on my information systems!

I've just updated the Speaking page on my website and look forward to more opportunities to share my message of inspiration with the world!

I've just completed a year long program with the amazing Andrea Lee, one of the most well-known and well-respected coaches in the world!   

Andrea led us through The Thomas Leonard Success Strategies Program which was a wonderful compilation of the brilliance of Thomas Leonard, considered by many to be the Father of Modern Coaching.

I won't recount the 12 strategies here - you can see them on the program's website - but I will highlight a few of the tidbits from our summary call today.

These are some of Andrea's bits of wisdom and some thought provoking questions to ponder (not always her exact words, my interpretation of what I heard!):

"When we say good-bye, it invites space for big hellos!"

"Be the boss of technology, don't let it be the boss of you" 

"Repeat what works."

"What do you believe to the core?" 

"How can you cut through the info-crap?" 

"Traverse the edge. It keeps you awake!"

"Juice the orange." (my personal favorite!)

"What risks are you willing to take?"

"What can you claim and make it your own?"

"Why do you have your governor on?"

Thank you, Andrea, for sharing these gems and for being such an important leader, a kind and compassionate person and light in the world! I am a better coach and smarter business woman for knowing you! ~ E.

H.E.A.L. Series - Over 60 Conscious Leaders - Taking the Evolutionary Leap with Dan Hanneman on Spiritual Rockstar Radio!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We are experiencing a HUGE SHIFT in our consciousness and it seems most everyone is feeling the new energy that is being birthed.  Like any birthing process, we will be able to move through it much easier and naturally when we discover the best path for us to allow it to happen.

I am honored and excited to be part of this FREE online series that will provide instructions on how to embody the new energy with more grace, ease, & joy.

Over 60 conscious leaders (including Dr. Bernie Siegel, Marcia Wieder, Guy Finley, Robert Scheinfeld, Christian Pankhurst, Anita Pathik Law, Christine Kloser, and many others) are gathering to provide you with perspectives on opening to what is emerging.  It is all part of the H.E.A.L. (Highly Evolved Actualized Living) Series that is happening between March 23rd - May 27th, 2010.

You can join this extraordinary FREE series and it's interactive online community by going to http://spiritualrockstar.com/healseries.  

Be sure to listen in on Monday, May 24th at 10 am EST when I will be interviewed by the host, Dan Hanneman "The BlockBuster"!! We'll be talking about making the shift from Tired to Inspired!

I took a big risk yesterday and it paid off.

I was the keynote speaker at the Business & Professional Women of Tallahassee 2nd annual conference.

Speaking wasn't the risky part. Thanks to my involvement in Toastmasters, I'm not afraid to speak publicly anymore.

But choosing to share an aspect of my life that was dark and hard and filled with grief and anguish was a HUGE risk for me. I shared intimate details of my divorce story with the audience for the first time in such a public way.

I told them about my first husband leaving me and our marriage. I shared my shock and confusion as I left our home, my good stable job and relocated to a new city and basically cried on my mountain top for months on end.

I explained that it was a time in my life where I was barely existing and some days it took all I could just to leave the house and go buy bread at the grocery story because I knew I should have some kind of human interaction.

But what happened during that traumatic period in my life is that I got reconnected to myself. I connected with my authentic being, I connected with my spiritual self and I connected with community. As I got "plugged in" again, I got inspired and started to rebuild my life and what a wonderful life it is now, years later.

I was blown away with how well the audience received my message. All day long during the conference, women were approaching me saying "you told my story" or "I've been in a similar place" or "I'm going through that RIGHT NOW and thank you for giving me hope!" I received e-mails and phone calls last night from people thanking me for sharing my vulnerable side.

And this morning, as I sit here writing this, I have an incredible sense of FREEDOM! Telling our stories is so powerful. I think when we know our worth and our value that is when we are truly powerful.

And sharing our authentic, real, vulnerable selves is how we connect with others. I'm grateful that I was able to connect with so many of the women and men who attended the BPW Conference.

I invite you to consider:

1. In what ways are you craving connection with yourself, Spirit and others?

2. How can you be more authentic (even vulnerable) in your interactions with others?

3. What story do YOU have to tell?

 P.S. If you want to read the Tallahassee Democrat article about my speech and the conference, click here. Thanks to Dave Hodges for capturing the essence of my message so beautifully!

When people ask me to explain coaching, often the best analogy I give them is that working with a coach is like working with a personal trainer.

Let's say you want to get healthy. You know you need to exercise, eat right, stretch, rest and remove as much stress as possible from your life to achieve your goals. Chances are good, you can do this on your own.

But so many of us don't. We start and we stop. We give lip service to our goals, but we don't follow through.

And often times, we simply give up.

And we remain unhealthy.

And unhappy.

And that's where personal trainers come in.

Once we decide we're truly ready to make a change and once we ASK FOR HELP, we're so much more likely to succeed with our goals.

The initial decision is what's most important but the follow up decision of asking for help is what sets the wheels in motion toward a healthy life style.

Same goes for coaching. You know what you  need to do to grow your business and to live a balanced life, right?

So why aren't you doing it?!

We all need a little help every now and then and when we've got big goals and big dreams, a collaborative partner can make all the difference in helping to shepherd us on the road to success.

When I ask my clients what are the top benefits they get from coaching, accountability always ranks near the top of the list.

If you hire a coach to help you achieve your goals, you're going to SHOW UP for yourself on a regular basis.

And if you enroll in a coaching group, (there's one starting in Tallahassee March 2nd) you're going to SHOW UP not only for yourself and for your coach, but for all the other members of the program.

There's a reason why Weight Watchers is one of the most successful weight loss programs in our country.

There's a reason why group coaching programs work.

Accountability.

Committment.

Showing Up.

Resources.

Inspiration.

Community.

If you're ready to shift your life and your business from tired to inspired, I invite you to join me for the next 4 months and see what an impact coaching can have on your life!

I guarantee it will transform you in powerful ways!

One week ago today, we were wrapping up another powerful, intentional, transformational retreat weekend. The New Year Solitude Retreat was the second weekend retreat that I have co-facilitated with my new business partner Geralyn Russell who is a gifted yoga and meditation instructor. 

The women who joined us came for a variety of reasons:

- to get a good night's sleep (the mom of a 5-month old)

- to de-stress (a busy professional woman navigating the early stages of a divorce)

- to gain clarity on how to spend her time wisely (a retired grandmother)

And all of the women left feeling different - lighter, more relaxed, more inspired, rested, more creative, more joyful -  than when they arrived. 

Jim Hallett of Washington State told his wife, Joanne who had flown cross country to join us,

"I have never seen you so relaxed. You need to go on retreat more often. Once is not enough."

So the work of Solitude Retreats continues. We hope to launch our new website soon and we are excited to share the message with people far and wide about the benefits of solitude and the gifts of retreat. 

Personally, I have found that taking retreat time allows me to gain clarity and give myself permission to do things I normally wouldn't. And that includes taking risks. So I am going to share a bit of writing (poetry?) that I wrote near the end of our retreat weekend.

Solitude, by Elizabeth Barbour

"Solitude" moo the cows

"Rest" baa the sheep

"Be" cluck the chickens

"Breathe" whispers the wind

"Play" meows Heather the cat

"Love" barks Stormy the dog

"Peace" rustles the oak tree

"Contemplate" suggests the labyrinth

"Restore" beckons the retreat center

"Recharge" peeps the egg

"Renew" sings the bell

"Joy" proclaim the angels

"Celebrate" laugh the wise women

... and they all danced

under the full moon

in the fields

around the dinner table

beating their drums

listening to the heart beat

the pulse of the land

calling them home to

Solitude.

If you’ve never chosen a theme for your year before, it can be:
a broad, general statement

a thread of consciousness or thought

kind of like a vision or mission statement but not so stuffy

an overriding idea

a repeating thought

a unifying idea

memorable

the subject of discourse or discussion

ongoing meditation with God or self

helps keep you focused, on target, on track

supports Laws of Attraction – if you’re telling the Universe clearly what you desire, then you’re more likely to co-create it!

provides ongoing encouragement as you see your theme coming to fruition throughout the year

Will your theme be:

fun or serious

personal, professional, or both

yearly, monthly, or for an event or project?

Will you start on January 1 or your birthday or your business anniversary?

Will you publicize your theme or keep it to yourself?

I’ve had a number of themes for myself over the years including:

Connection & Community

Sacred Spaces

The Year of Allowing

Elizabeth’s Year of Extreme Self Care

—general and specific—that might inspire you:

Creativity

Trying new things

Taking better care of your health

Organization

Being a better communicator

Learning

Making more money

Deepening your relationships

Living a more balanced life

Developing your spiritual practice

Adventure

Play more

How Much Joy Can I Stand?

My Year of Unexpected Financial Windfalls

The Year of Sacred Spaces

I'm Sexy, Sassy and Unstoppable

Healthy, Wealthy and Wise

Forgive

I’m worth it!

Have fun, fun, fun in all I do!

Big leaps of faith

Do it or dump it

Time is valuable

Prosperity first

Pick the low hanging fruit

No more Lone Ranger

What do you really, really, really want this year in the areas of

RELATIONSHIPS

CAREER

FINANCES

HEALTH

SPIRITUALITY

PERSONAL GROWTH?

Brainstorm your dreams and desires for the coming year. Think big, think small, think in the box and think out of the box. Think short-term and long-term. Think realistically and think pie-in-the-sky! The idea here is simply to capture all of your desires on paper so you can then go back and review all the ideas in your head!

If you can, spend some time with this over the next few days. Journal, talk to friends and family, create a vision board, find a personal anchor (rock, photo, etc) and then pick your theme.

Remember

Happy (almost!) New Year!
Take the next three days to get ready for a fabulous 2010!

PS For readers in the Tallahassee area, it's not too late to sign up for the 2010...Begin Again New Year's Day Retreat! Hope you will join us!

Shopping. Parties. Presents. Food (usually waaaaaaay too much!). Lights. Carols.

This season is so fun and so festive. I love it!

And, this year it's a little quieter than usual. I'm taking to heart the retreat work that I've stepped into this year.

I'm experiencing more quiet.

I'm giving myself permission for more space.

I'm realizing that I could knock myself to be the perfect friend/daughter/coach and extend myself to send cards, write personal greetings, buy gifts for everyone I love and care about (a verrrrrry long list!) ... but instead, I am choosing sanity... and just doing the best I can.

I'm spending time in silent gratitude saying over and over every day "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."

This has been a challenging year for a lot of people that I know, myself and my family included. But there is so much to be grateful for. We are truly blessed.

I wish you and yours a Merry Christmas and look forward to celebrating an exciting NEW YEAR with you soon! Thanks for reading, for being my friends, colleagues and supporters.

~ Elizabeth

PS If you are feeling ready for some R+R yourself but are also seeking the company of women, I invite you to consider joining me in the next few weeks...

2010...Begin Again - A New Year's Day Retreat on Jan 1st, 2010

New Year Solitude Retreat - A Woman's Retreat for Self Care and Spirituality from Jan 29-31st, 2010

Join me and Geralyn Russell this evening at 8 pm EST for our FREE Teleclass "Dissolve Holiday Stress NOW: 3 Simple Solitude Practices".

You'll take time to...

- BE

- BREATHE

- REST from the holiday chaos

- CONSIDER how you want to do the rest of the holiday season a little bit differently

Click HERE to register for this hour oasis and experience a bit of solitude this evening...

 (Geralyn Russell and I at BPW's Divas & Desserts - what a festive occasion!)

Is this holiday season wearing you out? That's a sure sign you aren't taking enough R+R time for yourself!

It’s easy to get caught up in the demands of life and miss the warning signs that you need to go on retreat NOW.

How do you know if you need a retreat?
~ You are tired or overwhelmed by all you have to do
~ You are scattered or lack focus
~ You can't find peace and quiet at home
~ Your creative juices are all gone
~ You give your time and energy to others and routinely put yourself last
~You have no energy left
~ You are grieving
~ You need new perspective
~ You want to DO less and BE more
~ You are experiencing a life transition (a move, new job, marriage, divorce, the birth of a baby or a new business)

It’s time to nurture yourself. You deserve it AND taking time off will leave you feeling
~ happy
~ grateful
~ inspired
~ rested
~ joyful
~ relaxed

Doesn’t that sound good?

I’m planning two special retreats for you in January 2010...Begin Again and the New Year Solitude Retreat on Jan 29-31, 2010 but you don’t need to wait until then.

~ Decide you're ready for a retreat! (yes, even now as the holidays approach!)
~ Pick a day, time and location (even 15 minutes of relaxation can restore your soul)
~ Choose activities that will nurture your mind, body and spirit (journaling, meditating, walking in nature, dancing, singing, creating art). 

The holiday season can be a whirlwind of activity and demands on your time and attention. You can choose to retreat and renew your body, mind, and spirit. Then you'll enjoy the season a whole lot more! :-)

After the holidays, I’d love to have you join me on retreat January 29-31, 2010 so that you can...

~ Rest
~ Focus
~ Enjoy peace and quiet
~ Explore your creative side
~ Put yourself first
~ Renew your energy
~ Achieve a new perspective
~ DO less and BE more
~ Come away inspired about LIFE!

And if you need a break NOW, join me for my FREE Holiday Teleclass Wednesday December 16th at 8 pm EST called Dissolve Holiday Stress NOW!

It's that time of year again. I don't need to describe it to you. Most people either love it or dread it. There aren't a whole lot of fence-sitters on the topic of the holidays. If you are ready to disembark from the holiday crazy bus, here are three simple steps to help you.

1. Create Space. Pull out your calendar RIGHT NOW and look at the month of December. Are there hours or days that are not accounted for? Choose a few chunks of time - 30 minutes here, 2 hours there, an entire day (wow!) - and block them out just for you. This is the season of giving, but if you don't start by giving yourself some spiritual food in the form of space and time to breathe and think, you won't have anything left to give anyone else!

2. Envision your Ideal Holiday. Take a blank sheet of paper and write 5-10 things that would make your holiday just perfect. Then, talk with your loved ones about how you can incorporate some of these ideas into your holiday plans.

3. Self Care SOS! Make a list of all the things that help you to destress. Post it on your refrigerator and every time you feel the holiday crazies coming on, choose a self care tool that will come to your rescue. Examples: eating an organic meal in a relaxed environment, getting a babysitter for 3 hours so you can go do yoga, meditate for 10 minutes before you start your day, saying no thank you when you really don't want to do something.

If you want more tips and inspiration from me , I invite you to join me for two exciting events in December.

*** For Tallahassee area folks: I'll be the keynote speaker on Tuesday Dec 8th at the Tallahassee Chamber of Commerce Professional Women's Forum and I"ll be talking about how to thrive during the holidays!

*** For people all over the country: Join me and Geralyn Russell for our Dissolve Holiday Stress NOW! Free teleclass on Wed Dec 16th from 8-9 pm EST. It's sure to be a respite in the midst of a busy holiday time!

Is your list of “shoulds” so long you never have time to consider the “coulds” like rest and renewal?

Who but YOU can give you the permission you need to take care of yourself?

So many women give, give, give ... and they give some more! They give it all away to other people...then there's nothing left for themselves at the end of the day.

Is that you?

Why do you do this? What's the benefit?

Seriously.

Burn out? Exhaustion? Feeling temporarily satisfied for helping others but ultimately sacrificing yourself in the process?

Stop the madness!

Stop right now and make yourself a permission slip.

I Give Myself Permission to  ________________________

(be instead of do, take the day off, slow down, quit my job, pursue my dreams, start my new business, leave my unsupportive relationship, let go of limiting beliefs, take myself on a retreat).

How does that feel?

Post your permission slip somewhere where you can see it regularly.

And actually follow through and HONOR your permission slip to yourself - it's a commitment to your health and well-being and happiness.

Experience the freedom, power and control that comes with choosing something that makes you feel good, something that nurtures you.

Don’t wait. Choose to feel good now. Choose to take care of yourself now. There will never be a better time.

The human mind and body are capable of incredible feats but they are not capable of constant effort without opportunities to rest and renew. It often takes a life transition like birth, death, relocation, job change, or illness to remind us we need to slow down and take some time for ourselves.

You don't have to wait for something bad to happen to start practicing self care!

You are probably adept at multitasking, going, doing, and taking care of things. In light of this, you may be asking
- What does "self care" really mean?
- How can I practice it?
- Why do I resist it?
- How can I incorporate self care practices into my life?
 
I’ll be answering those questions at my next Solitude retreat and I hope you’ll join me.
The New Year Solitude Retreat is January 29-31, 2010 at an organic farm in southern Georgia. It's gorgeous and the perfect place to get away and reflect on self care.

I don’t want to leave you hanging, though. Here are 5 questions to get you moving toward practicing better self care TODAY.

1. Define what self care means for you. List 5-10 actions you could take to practice self care.

2. How do you feel when you give yourself the gift of self care? And how do you feel when you haven't practiced self care in a while?

3. Why do you resist self-care? What are you avoiding in your life?

4. What's one thing you could do today to get yourself back on the self-care path?

 5. Are you ready and willing to return to self care? If so, grab your calendar and write in a self-care date with yourself. Then sigh with relief as you imagine how you'll feel once you give yourself this nurturing and loving gift!

I hope these questions inspire you to take action, to get serious about self care. We’ll be talking about this more on retreat but until then, here are some ways to incorporate self care into your busy life
1. Stop doing things that aren't necessary, vital, or uplifting.

2. Turn off the phone, the TV, the radio e-mail, and the computer for one full day each week.

3. Clear physical clutter from your life.

4. Clear mental clutter from your life, too. Create lists, delegate, or even ignore.

5. Take yourself on retreat for a few hours, a day, a weekend.

6. Just say "no". No is a complete sentence.

7. Create space to allow you to see what you need to give yourself permission to do (or not do, as the case may be!)

Not sure you're motivated to do it on your own? Consider joining us for a group experience to learn how to practice self care- the power of women in community is transformational.
I hope you’ll join me January 29-31, 2010 for the New Year Solitude Retreat.