Say what?

Let me repeat myself.

Taking time off from your regular responsibilities and commitments is necessary, critical and life giving if you want to keep going. If you want to be creative. If you want to be inspired. If you want to remain healthy (body, mind AND spirit!).

I can hear you sputtering now. "What? That's crazy! Who has time? Who has the money for that? There's no way I can take time off. My family/boss/co-workers/spouse/friends would think I'm crazy - or even worse, lazy."

Then, as you ponder this idea some more, I suspect quiet whispers are creeping in... "well, maybe I could take a day off. Or a week. But never a month. Gosh, a whole month? Wouldn't that be divine? I wonder if I could actually swing that?"

Now that I've planted the seed, I simply want you to noodle on this for today. Or for a few days.

And if you need help deciding if you really would benefit from time off, here are a few things to help you.

5 Key Warning Signs that you Need Time Off:

1. Poor decision making: Fuzzy Brain: your brain is just not functioning well and hasn't been for a while.

2. Incomplete projects (lots!): so overwhelmed that you are paralyzed, you can’t get anything done.

3. Feeling stuck, like you’re swimming in circles and don’t have many options… seeing your business and life the same old way.

4. You’re bored and not having fun at work anymore.

5. Your relationships are suffering: with clients, family, friends, self.

nature has wonderful healing powers4 Key Benefits of Taking Time Off:

1. Deep rest – true rest, clearer head, healing – why do you think kids have recess and summers off? They need to rest their brains! Europeans have 4-6 weeks of vacation each year and in some countries they take siestas during the day… hello?!

2. Perspective – stepping back can give you fresh eyes on many situations and relationships in your life.

3. Creativity – take time to read, do creative projects, think, walk, let your mind wander and daydream.

4. Listen to your intuition - new ideas/directions – having that space will allow new ideas to come in that will help you change the course of your business and life.

3 Kinds of Time Off that can make a BIG difference to your bottom line

1. G.O.D. Days – Goof Off Days - Years ago, a girlfriend and I used to mark out one day per month on our calendars and plan G.O.D. Days. They were days to play, to explore, to learn something new. So freshing and so inspiring. They infused our businesses and our lives and our friendship with richness, creativity and joy.

2. Week Long Retreats - An entire week is a terrific amount of time to devote yourself to your rest and renewal. The best years I've had in business (13 years now) are the years where I took myself on a week long retreat in the fall to plan ahead for the following year. I usually spend the first three days unwinding and decompressing. Then the next three to four days are for letting my creative spirit soar and the ideas literally come flooding in so fast I can barely capture them in writing.

3. Month (or longer) Sabbatical - If you have the luxury of the time and resources to do this, I highly recommend it. Sometimes even if you don't have the luxury of the time and resources to do it, it's good to do it any way. If you're really in a stuck place or completely tapped out, taking an entire month to recharge is absolutely worth feeling the pinch in the short term so that you'll experience the gain in the long term. Whenever I've taken a month or more off from my regular life, I've had dramatic life-altering shifts in my life and in my work.

2 Easy Ways to Identify the Perfect time of year for you to take time off

1. Seasonal – depending on what part of the country you live in… summer is often time for families and winter is time for introspection and going within.

2. Businesses tend to be cyclical and do slow down on occasion – Look at your P & L statements for the last few years… if you know that you have a slump in business during certain weeks or months, plan your time accordingly.

1 Simple Process to Start Planning Your Getaway Today!

1. Give Yourself Permission. This is where the rubber meets the road, folks. This is where it can all begin. We spend so much time worrying about what others will think but ultimately it's all about how YOU think about YOU.

2. Organize your Priorities – What do I need? For example: I need time away NOW, I need to be away from clients, family, I need the ocean, I need to spend very little money, I need spiritual renewal, I need intellectual stimulation, I need to be creative, I need movement, I need to clean my house.

3. Do it Now – Plan it Today! lie down on the Earth, look at the sky and listen to the trees. there is wisdom there for you.

   a. Determine your budget

   b. Pull out your calendar

   c. Research possible locations

   d. Discuss with loved ones to get them on board

   e. Commit. - Block off the time. Book the date and location.

Remember, this is an investment in YOU and the future of your business and life.

Inspired Action: Take time to journal about the possibilities of taking time off. Don't worry about it being "realistic" or "unattainable". Simply write about how wonderful it would be to give yourself the gift of time away from your day to day to relax, refresh and renew. AND write about what you'd gain by taking this time away. Then, sit with it for a while and then ask yourself some serious questions - Can I really do this? If so, what's feasible? When can I go? and one by one, the pieces will fall into place.

Dictionary.com defines sabbatical as any extended period of leave from one's customary work, esp. for rest, to acquire new skills or training, etc. 

We're not talking vacation here. Or even retreat.

We're talking about extended time away from the usual work that we do.

starfish represent intuition, inspiration and guidance... all of which tend to appear often during a sabbaticalMany of us dream of taking one.

But how many of us actually do it?

I took 2 months off after my Dad died. I was 24.

I took 3 months off after getting separated from my first husband. I was 31.

I took 4 months off after making a huge move from NC to FL. I was 37.

And now, I am 43 and am in the beginning of my 10^th month of sabbatical since moving from FL to TX.

It’s funny as I look at the progression… each sabbatical I have taken, I’ve taken progressively more time. Perhaps as I’ve aged, I’ve needed more recovery time from a major or traumatic life event. Or perhaps as I’ve gained wisdom, I’ve given myself permission to take as much time as I need to rest and regroup.

I suspect it’s a little bit of both.

In academia and in religious life, sabbaticals are common as people step out of their day to day jobs to take a class, pursue research or travel. Often the goal is to acquire a new skill or new perspective on work and life. Sabbaticals can be short - just a few weeks or a month - or they can be long - several months or even years.

The emotions associated with sabbatical are complex and varied.

Euphoria and freedom often show up first... a feeling of relief that you don't have to keep doing the same things day in and day out that you were you previous doing. Ahhhhh!

Panic and uncertainty are hot on their heels... what have I done???? is this the right thing for me to be doing now? Should I really have let go of what's familiar and comfortable?

Relaxation and enjoyment appear as well... a trip to the zoo, a day at a park, writing in your journal, taking a class... and you revel in this gift of time you've given yourself.

Confusion is a common emotion, too... what am I trying to accomplish here? what are my goals? how long should I stay on sabbatical?

Gratitude, for me, shows up every day...for space, for perspective, for learning, for understanding, for wisdom, for compassion, for breathing, for laughter, for life. 

In my most current sabbatical experience, I have definitely acquired new skills, but not all were skills I necessarily set out to acquire.

-  Learned how to project manage a house under contract to sell with severe flooding in 7 rooms just 3 weeks before we moved out.

-  Successfully orchestrated the half-cross-country move from FL to TX with a baby, a dog and 3 cats.

-  Switched to a grain free diet and learned to enjoy cooking that way. (gasp!) I started off eating an anti-candida diet and now eat more Paleo.

-  I took two writing classes and am working on my relationship with writing. The first with www.christinakatz.com called Writing and Publishing the Short Stuff and I learned all about writing and submitting articles for publication. The second I am taking now with Tammy Strobel of www.rowdykittens.com and getting clear about what I want to write and why I want to write it.

-   Learned patient advocate skills, patience skills :-) and nursing skills in caring for my mom with stage IV throat cancer. Did I mention she has moved in with us?

I don't know what's in store for the rest of my sabbatical (or how much longer it is going to last) but I do know that I am feeling inspired and guided to stay with it and see where it takes me. Oh yeah, and one thing I'm definitely going to continue to do while on sabbatical ... write.

Inspired Action: I encourage you to look at your own life. Are you in need of a sabbatical? An intentional stepping away from your ordinary day to day responsibilities so that you can rest, gain perspective, learn something new and recharge your life? If so, what can you do TODAY to start making some plans to make it happen?

She resists confinement or constraints of any sort. She'll flit in for a hug for all of 15 nanoseconds, then she's off doing something else. At a recent family celebration, this photo of Riley was taken as she explored every nook and cranny of the courtyard where we were gathered. She was surrounded by cousins, aunts and uncles and people wanting to love on her but several times, she went darting across the way as if to say "Wheeeee! You can't catch me! Don't tell me what to do! I want to do my own thing, at my own pace, in my own way."

And you, dear reader, how often have you felt that way in your life time? In your work? With your commitments and responsibilities? Today?

"Wheeeee! You can't catch me! Don't tell me what to do! I want to do my own thing, at my own pace, in my own way."

And yet, how many times do you listen to that inner voice?

Do you agree and say "yes, let's break free from the mold/tradition/expectations for a change!"

OR do you allow convention/responsibility/shoulds to take over and instead squelch that inner voice that is crying out for a taste of freedom

Remember, you have the power to choose. Just follow in Riley's footsteps and see where it takes you.

If you want to learn more about Dr. Seuss, visit Seusville! You'll smile the whole time you're on the site!

Here are some of our favorite Dr. Seuss-isms! :) #11, #16 and #21 are my personal favorites. What are yours?

[Via: 30 Dr. Seuss Quotes to Live By]

Mommy is sad because you went to Heaven today but she's also been telling me stories about you and laughing a lot. I only met you once but I will grow up knowing your legacy. Here's what I know to be true about you...

- You were not a tired person. You were an INSPIRED one.

- You had a strong faith in and love for God.

- You were very, very funny and laughed all the time.

- You loved your family dearly.

- You had a beautiful soprano voice and shared your gift with the world freely.

- You had many, many friends and everyone who knew you loved you.

Mommy says that you SPARKLED. Just being in your presence, you had a joie de vivre, a twinkle in your eye, a zest for life. You were filled with light and you lit up a room simply with your presence. You were lively and vivacious and filled with delight at Life's gifts.

Those are all the things that I want to be when I grow up. I want to live inspired and love deeply and I want to SPARKLE, like you. Mommy says that it was your attitude that made you who you were. She said you had some hard times in life but you chose to overcome those adversities with grace and gratitude for the good and the abundance that you did have in your life.

Thank you, Great Aunt Dorothy, for being such a wonderful role model for how I want to live my life.

Love, Riley

My complete, undivided attention.

Like this photo to the left, when she was barely a month old.

When was the last time you gave someone the present of presence?

Really, truly BE-ing 100% committed to sharing that moment, experience or conversation?

Children have a way of demanding that with you. I'll be honest that sometimes I find it annoying. But it's when my agenda involves preparing dinner, answering a client phone call and cleaning up the dishes - all at the same time.

And she's hanging on to my leg saying "Mama! Me! Me! Me! I want you to be with Me! Nothing else matters right now! Just me! And You! And Us spending time together!" (yes, that's what I've interpreted her clingy pleading wails to mean)

And when I can detach myself from my "to do" list and my "shoulds" and "expectations" about what I think ought to be happening at that moment and turn my full attention to her, that is when the magic happens. She says new words. We read gobs of books. She finds a new toy to play with and her face lights up.

I invite you, dear reader, to consider with whom you'd like to create magic. Go give them (and yourself) the gift of presence, and prepare to be wowed!

Same is true for a tired baby. Tired babies yawn, rub their eyes, stumble when walking and get cranky. Most parents I know respond as quickly as they can to a tired baby and let the baby sleep in a crib, carseat or sling. We don't force the child to stay awake or to play more or to push through their experience. As soon as the baby signals they are tired, they usually get put to bed. Then, when baby wakes up from their nap, they're ready to go!

Take time to rest when they are tired. What a novel concept!

And adults don't do this ... why?

Most grown ups I know are really, really tired. Entrepreneurs. Working Professionals. Caring for Children. Caring for Parents. Real Sandwich Generation Issues. Community Volunteers. Graduate Students. Home Owners. Pet Lovers. They are burning the candle at both ends and their idea of "rest" is zoning out to TV late at night or sitting on the bleachers watching their kid in a sporting event.

What are the benefits that come from pushing through the pain and ignoring the body's request for rest and renewal? Hmmm... let's see... inefficiency, lack of focus, disorganization... and oh yeah, poor health. Yay! Sign me up! <Not!>

You know the phrase Work Hard, Play Hard? I think we should amend it to Work Well, Play Well, Rest Well! Seriously! If we spent 1/3 of our lives working, 1/3 playing and 1/3 resting, the world would be a much happier place! It's one of the primary reasons that I lead retreats.

To teach people how to slow down. How to say no to external demands and how to say yes to their inner voice that is asking, begging, pleading for nurturing, love, acceptance and R-E-S-T.

Do you do this? If not, why not?

Tomorrow, I'll be teaming up with Geralyn Russell and Gay Webster-Sachs for a one day women's retreat, Adventures in Self Discovery.  If you can't join us but are still interested in learning how to take better care of yourself, perhaps take a peek at my new blog post over at Capital Regional Medical Center's Daily Waddle. It's a post that offers some self care questions for moms and moms-to-be but of course anyone can benefit from some self-care, self-love and self-acceptance, can't they?

Listen to the babies. They are oh so wise. They are in synch with their bodies and with the rhythm of life. We have much to learn from them. (Thank you, sweet Riley... I think I'll go take a nap now!)

Wishing you a weekend filled with rest, rest and more rest.

You might think "of course her theme is PLAY. She has a one year old" but at first, this rather serious Capricorn was not very happy. PLAY? Who has time to PLAY? I have things to do - a baby to raise, clients to care for, a home to keep, family to watch out for. There aren't enough hours in the day. How can I possibly add PLAY to my "to do" list?

Um. Yeah. Exactly. That would be why PLAY was gifted to me as my theme for the year. :-)

Play isn't so much a "do-ing" as it is a state of "Be-ing". It's about fun and laughter and lightness and learning. When we play we are very present and in the moment. Be here now. Yeah, that. Good advice. (note the photo of Riley with toilet paper. pure bliss. in the moment.)

We're only a few weeks into 2012 but I can already tell that keeping PLAY in mind as my theme for the year is helping me be more present in many areas of my life. See what might apply to yours...

1. Time with children. It's easy to get distracted as a WAHM (work at home mom!) and get caught up doing work when it's my time with Riley. Keeping PLAY in the forefront of my mind reminds me to fully engage with her when we are together. Then when she's napping, I'm very focused at getting my work done. Do you work hard and play hard? Or are you all work and no play?

2. Cooking. Those who know me well know that I say I'm a terrible cook. But that's really not true. I'm OK. I'm average. But now that I'm infusing my kitchen time with PLAY (new recipes, letting Riley bang on pots and pans while I create) we're eating meals with more variety and having fun with our food! When was the last time you got creative in the kitchen?

3. My work. I've been an entrepreneur for 11 years now and one of my mottos has been "easy, fun and profitable". This year, I'm focusing extra attention on the FUN. I'm only working with clients I adore and doing work that feels 100% fulfilling. How can you make your projects more playful?

** side bar: Check out this website http://seriouslythemovie.com that a friend sent to me recently! A documentary about how vital play is to our health and happiness! Looks pretty fun! **

4. Time in nature. Now that Riley is walking, we are having a blast exploring the Earth. Grass and dirt and leaves and bushes and flowers and weeds! We spend time almost every day outside and we've been sitting on the ground. When was the last time you sat on Mother Earth and felt her support and embrace?

I invite you, dear Reader, to ask yourself how you can incorporate more PLAY into your life this year? Please feel free to share your ideas below!

And I cried all the way home.

Riley's first birthday was emotional for many reasons.

1. Our baby is no longer a baby. She's a toddler now, walking and talking albeit tentatively on both accounts. The past year has flown by.

2. Memories of last year came rushing back, the whirlwind upheaval of life as we knew it as we tried to comprehend the fact that our daughter (finally) found us and we (FINALLY!) found her! That our meeting was written in the stars.

3. We haven't heard from Riley's birthmom in three months. While technically an open adoption, we don't have a formal agreement about contact. I continue to send monthly updates with photos and stories and we have invited her to be part of Riley's life. Because I am an adult adoptee who was a product of the closed system of adoption, I've desperately wanted it to be different for my daughter. I've hoped she'd grow up knowing her birthmom. And that may still happen. But right now, she is feeling the need to step back and we must respect that. I can't begin to imagine what her world is like.

So I was a river of tears when I picked up that cake because it meant that I have not been dreaming. I have not been living in an alternate universe. I have not been making up stories in my head. Riley's birthday cake was my proverbial "pinch" (pinch me so I know this is real).

You'd think that the endless diapers and bottles and lack of sleep would have made it all real sooner than this.

The Skin Horse said to The Velveteen Rabbit in Margery Williams' classic book : "Real isn't how you are made... It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

I'm a Real Mom. Riley's Mom. And her birthday cake proved it. "...Once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always" said the Skin Horse.

Lucky me. I get to be Riley's Mommy forever.

I invite you, dear reader, to think of a time in your life when an experience, something or someone helped you become Real?

On January 22, 2011 we got the call that would change our lives forever. At 4:30 a.m. we learned of a healthy baby girl who had been born just an hour previously and her mother wanted to place her in an open adoption. Were we interested? The next 36 hours were a whirlwind of emotion and activity. I remember arriving at the hospital at 4:30 on Sunday afternoon and being checked into a room with Eric and this teeny, tiny baby with dark hair who was sleeping soundly in her incubator. It is a treasured memory that is burned in my brain because it is my first of us as a "threesome". In that instant, we went from being a couple to being a family.

We knew we wanted to be parents. We were on the path to adopt a baby. We thought we were ready for change. But when it arrives so shockingly and so suddenly - we call it the "36 hour pregnancy"- it takes time for the mind, body and spirit to assimilate all that happened. There is a massive deconstruction that occurs on every level so that there is room and space to rebuild something new and different. There is a reason that most people have nine months of pregnancy. It's called time to get over the shock and awe of this new information and integrate the new reality into your being that a new little person is going to change your world forever!

So we got to do our "nine months" of integration and preparing for the new reality after the fact... and while raising said baby! :-) Now that Riley is about to turn a year old, it's a great time to reflect and see how we've managed the change and grown as a result.

1. I am more confident as a person now that I am a parent. We were born to do this. We are good parents. I guess this surprised me because I figured that it was something we had to learn how to do and read about and study up on. (And yes, we did some of that. There are way too many unread baby books around our house that I thought we needed in the early days.) But generally speaking, we are laid back, we are very present with our daughter, and we cherish our time as a family - as a threesome and with our extended family of loved ones who are part of our tribe helping to raise our baby.

2. I am not afraid to ask for help. I've also learned to gracefully receive it. Both Eric and I are very independent people and like to take care of things ourselves. But very quickly we learned that raising a child really does take a village. The night we checked into the hospital, we had friends shopping at Babies 'R Us buying diapers, formula, bottles, a crib and so much more so that when we got home, our home was prepared for our precious bundle. My best friend took a week off of work to stay home with us and help us adjust to our new reality. Our family members scrambled to get flights and come in to help us during the first month. Our church community fed us for an entire month.

3. I live in a state of gratitude every single day. I was a pretty happy person before Riley entered our lives but the loooong fertility journey had taken its toll on me, on Eric and on our marriage. We were worn out, grief stricken and tapped out emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially. Riley's arrival was like a breath of fresh air. We had hope again. We were excited about life. We finally felt like we were "on track" with our lives. (of course it took a few months to come out of the sleep deprived fog to realize all of this!) I count my blessings every single day because I now see how precious life really is and how it can change on a dime. In an instant, your life can be completely transformed.

Riley has taught us a lot in the past year. I believe in the old saying "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear" and I am clear that Eric and I are the students and Riley is our teacher.

For a while now, I've been getting a Universal nudge to include Riley in my work. I didn't know how until a few days ago when I was journaling, I realized that I needed to write about all that I've learned from this amazing being of light who is turning one in two more days. It seems fitting for me to be launching a "change" in my writing habits today as we enter her birthday weekend. The short term commitment is to write 12 weeks worth of "Riley Friday" blogs and see what shows up. See what resonates. For me as the writer. And equally importantly, for you as the reader.

My goal is not to have these Friday blogs become all about parenting but instead to look at the lessons I've learned as a new parent and see how it applies to being an entrepreneur, to living in the world, to making that shift from tired to inspired! I dare say that increasing confidence, asking for help and living in a state of gratitude are all things we strive for.

So I invite you, dear reader, to ask yourself "What change (big or small) is happening in my life right now - or do I want to invite into my life - and how do I wish to grow as a result?"