Entries For: 2008

1. Write a Future Vision Letter to yourself and date it January 1, 2010. Pretend it’s one year from now and you’re feeling delighted and joyful about your successes.  The goal of this exercise is to help you identify your objectives for the coming year, so consider including the following:

-    what your ideal days look like

-    who you're spending time with

-    what adventures are you having

-    your personal/professional life balance

Focus on how you are feeling during this exercise. Are you joyful? Free? Peaceful? Revved up? Get into the flow and see what shows up.

2. Create a Vision Board for the New Year. One of my favorite activities, this is a powerful way to ring in the New Year. Gather stacks of magazines, poster board, glue sticks and scissors and you've got the makings of a fun afternoon or evening! Take time choosing images that call to you - whether for their direct or indirect meaning - and words or phrases that inspire and uplift you. Piece everything together in a brilliant collage that can serve as your roadmap for the coming year. (PS If you live near Tally and you read this in time, you can still join me on retreat on Jan 1st. Click here for details!)

 3. Decide on a theme for your year. They say between 60-80% of New Years' resolutions are broken within the first two weeks of the New Year. Those aren't such good odds, eh? So I say, skip the resolutions and create a theme for your year instead!  Some ideas...

1. Sabbath - Wayne Muller writes a beautiful book about the importance of rest, retreat and renewal. He brings in stories from all different spiritual paths and points out that all religious institutions sanction and support rest as a natural part of the life cycle. Mirroring nature, which is about the only thing that is perfect, and alternating cycles of activity and rest is critical to the survival of any living being. If you work too much or are on the "go" all the time, I urge you to read this book!

2. Success Intelligence - I saw Robert Holden speak at the Hay House Conference in Tampa this fall and I fell in love. Yes, he is quite charming, but I fell in love with his work... the notion that we need to define success for ourselves clearly so that it can help direct the other decisions we make in our lives. I am still working through this one chapter by chapter and enjoying journaling to questions like "What are your wisest thoughts about success? What is your wisdom trying to teach you? And if God had one thought for you today, what would it be?"

3. Love Your Self, Live Your Spirit - Sonia Choquette cracks me up! Her humorous stories remind me of the power of connecting with our intuition which is available to us always. Here's my story of connecting with my intuition: When I sat in her audience recently, I knew that she gave her products away during her sessions. I set a clear intention at the beginning of the event that I would love to receive her newest book as a gift. Sure enough, her spirit "heard" my spirit's request and when she called "this is for the lady in the green!" I jumped up with a knowing grin and gratefully accepted her gift!

4. Home with God - When Eric's Dad got sick with cancer earlier this year, this book practically jumped off my shelf begging to be read. Neale Donald Walsch's dialog with God in this extraordinary book helped me to look at death and dying in a whole new light. It was comforting, uplifting and above all, empowering. The message is one of deep, abiding love. Anyone facing the death of a loved one - or who has concerns about your own mortality - should read this book.

5. Waiting for Daisy - the subtitle is "A Tale of Two Continents, Three Religions, Five Infertility Doctors, an Oscar, an Atomic Bomb, a Romantic Night and One Woman's Quest to Become a Mother." That pretty well describes Peggy Orenstein's journey in a nutshell. Another friend struggling with fertility challenges (who is now blissfully pregnant with twins!) recommended I read this book this summer.  I even read parts of it out loud to my husband who nodded his head saying "yes, honey, you do that. yes, honey, you do that too!" It made me not feel so crazy and it made me feel connected to other women who have been on this road before me. Anyone who has a deep desire to create a family and has had to follow the road less traveled in the pursuit of the dream will really connect with this book.

So those are my picks for 2008. What are yours? Please comment...

Holidays can put a lot of pressure on finding just the "perfect gift" for friends, family and clients. While it's important to consider the recipient's needs and values, it's equally important to consider your own.

What kind of gift giver do you want to be?

1. Creative Gift Giver - Give the gift of art. Store bought or hand made. Something that will spark the imagination and inspire a little bit of right brained celebration.

2. Intellectual Gift Giver - Give books. Give educational games and toys that open the mind. My new favorite place to shop for kid's gifts is Mindware. Their tagline is "Brainy Gifts for Kids of All Ages". Cool, eh?

3.Wise Investor Gift Giver - This is my husband! Oh so mindful about educating his two nephews about the value of the dollar. Give U.S. Savings Bonds.

4. Experiential Gift Giver - Buy tickets for an experience - a sporting event, the theatre, a concert - or a gift certificate to a favorite restaurant or local spa.

5. Green Gift Giver - Be mindful of Mother Earth! Be a patron of organizations and companies that support our planet. One of my favorite resources for green gifts is Low Impact Living.

Obviously there are many, many types of gift givers in this world! I'd love to hear ideas from you about what kind of gift giver you are going to be this year?

In the past few weeks, I've had the opportunity to experience two different versions of strategic planning.

My personal strategic planning process: A week-long retreat at the beach. Just me and our dog, Andy. Piles of books for reference and inspiration. Sheets of blank paper, colored index cards, markers, pens, poster board. My calendar - for 2008 and 2009 - to review, celebrate, project and dream. No e-mail and a cell phone that only worked when I drove up to the store.

A client's strategic planning process: For the third year in a row, Shannon Knapp, President of Horse Sense of the Carolinas in Marshall, NC assembled her team for some focused intense time of goal setting and planning. There were 6 of us meeting at her farm - her husband (and business partner), the practice administrator, her CFO, her marketing consultant and me! We had 3 computers, a flip chart and plenty of food. We accomplished a lot in just one day.

The common denominators:

1. Space to plan. Blocking out a day or several days to think about the future. Claiming the time in your calendar is critical. Choosing a supportive, nurturing environment is also important.

2. Creative tools to support planning. Think ahead to determine what you'll need. It can be as complex or as simple as you want to make it. Computers, spreadsheets, flip charts, calculators, calendars... or blank paper and a pen.

3. The outcomes. Identify the key issues and new priorities. Specific goals and objectives with a timeline to complete things in. Determining critical next steps for the health and vitality of the business.

There are still a few weeks left until the New Year. Pull out your calendar and block out an afternoon, a day or several days to work on your business. Planning today for a bright tomorrow is a terrific investment of your time and brain power.

I work with clients all the time on their negative thoughts and limiting beliefs - whether it's about money or relationships or work or family... you name it. But now I'm working on some of my own.

I've been working on some health issues lately and one of the important components to regaining my health is daily movement.  I thought if I was doing something 30 minutes 3 times a week, I was doing pretty well. But my doctor is encouraging me to do something active every single day.

Here is my inner battle to shift my stinkin' thinkin' about exercise:

"I hate to exercise!"

"C'mon, E. Is that really true? You don't hate all exercise and you don't hate it all the time. There are some parts you like sometimes."

"Oh yeah, like what?"

"Well, you like being out in nature when you walk Andy in the woods."

"Um, yeah, I guess so. But I hate to sweat!"

" Yes, but remember that guy you dated in college who thought that sweat was sexy? Try to remember that."

"Uh, OK. But I get so tired when I exercise."

"Just think how tired you get when you don't work out for several days in a row. Exercise actually helps you to feel better and have more energy, even when it's hard to get motivated."

"Yes, you're right. OK so what can I think so that I can have a more positive attitude? I don't want to say stuff that isn't true for me!"

"Well, try these affirmations:

- I feel great after I exercise.

- My body gets healthier each time I work out.

- Andy needs to be walked anyway!

- I am learning to appreciate the important role of exercise in my life.

- I sleep better when I exercise.

Everytime I catch myself thinking 'I hate exercise" I immediately stop myself and say "WAIT! that's not totally a true statement. What is true for me?"

Try it and see what works for you... let me know what habits you are trying to change.

This is my mom's 75th birthday month and I wanted to make it special for her. I think 75 is a big accomplishment and I wanted to celebrate with her in style. I told her we could go anywhere in the country for a short trip and it would be my treat. After some hemming and hawing she finally eeked out "Well, you know how much I love lobster!" and thus, our destination of Maine was confirmed!

We invited my Aunt Dorothy (mom's sister) and my cousin Diana (Dorothy's daughter) to join us and we had quite an adventure! We ate at great restaurants, did tons of shopping and took the trolley tour into Acadia National Park and stood high atop Cadillac Mountain, the first place in the U.S. where you can see the sun rise! We visited Asticou Gardens, a tranquil Japanese-esque garden in the middle of fishing villages on Mt. Desert Island.

Our favorite afternoon was spent with Captain Karl, an expert captain who sails an 1899 Friendship Sloop in Maine in the summertime and heads south to the Caribbean to charter sail boats in the winter time. Pretty nice life, eh? And for all you single 30-something women out there, Karl's smart, funny and cute and "doing research" as he called the dating scene! :-)

I love travel for a variety of reasons. This trip was filled with laughter, time with my precious family and exploring new places. Mostly, it gave me some great perspective (as evidenced by this photo of me on top of Cadillace Mtn) on life and how I want to live it - totally, fully and completely alive each and every day!

This past weekend, my beloved husband went to Charleston, SC for a bachelor party. He had a great time with all of his college buddies partying until the wee hours of the morning. He came back exhausted.

I, on the other hand, feel refreshed and invigorated as a result of this weekend. Why? I gave myself permission to have a retreat at home.

Originally I had planned to make the trip with him and visit a girlfriend but when I realized that I wasn't feeling so hot and desperately needed to simply rest, I decided to stay home and create an intentional sanctuary for myself.

Highlights of my retreat weekend:

- I didn't drive my car for 2 full days.

- I didn't turn on my computer for 1 full day.

- I turned down an invitation from a friend for a walk because I wanted to be alone.

- I napped three times.

- I watched 4 hours of really bad TV on the Hallmark Channel and 2 hours of OK TV on the Lifetime Channel.

- I journaled, went for a hike with my dog, swam in our pool and read magazines.

To plan a retreat at home, follow these simple steps:

1. Determine how long you have to indulge yourself. It could be just a few hours or, as in my case, two full days.

2. Tune in to what you are craving. I realized that I was craving three things: a) rest b) quiet and c) alone time

3. Engage only in activities that make you happy. You don't have to force yourself to grow spiritually or eat super healthy or anything else you don't want to do.

4. Set boundaries. You can decide not to answer the phone or turn on the computer or even leave the house.

I'd like to encourage you to check your calendar now and see when you can schedule your next at-home retreat. Think about what you need - dancing, yoga, a bubble bath, read a novel just for fun - and go for it!

I have known Earl Gladstone Barbour, Jr for six years now, four of which he has been my father-in-law/love. I just wish we had more time together. Last night, on July 20, 2008, he made his transition and died peacefully at home after a courageous battle with lung cancer.

I often do an exercise with my coaching clients called "Standards and Boundaries" that helps us look at the relationships in our lives and how we want to live with more intention. One of the activities encourages you to list five role models in your life. Earl is on my list. Why?

Because Earl is one of the few people I know who absolutely 100% lived his life by the golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Earl had a strong faith in God. He put family first. He was incredibly giving. And he loved life.

He adored his wife Jo Anne and his son Eric, he loved his step-daughters Susan and Molly and he doted on his five grandchildren Nathan, Matthew, Sophie, Hannah and Tess. He was beloved by all who knew him and his presence will be sorely missed.

When I asked my husband last night to describe his father in just a few words, he said loyal, loving, generous and servant. That about captures it. I want to live my life like that.

So to Earl, my dear father-in-love, I know that they are having a huge celebration in heaven right now and you are the guest of honor! As we grieve for the loss of your bright light on this Earth, know that your spirit will live on in our hearts and minds until it is our turn to join you at the big party in the sky! I love you!

Click here to read the Time magazine story about clutter and simplifying your life.  A Guy Named Dave is on a personal quest to scale down on "stuff" and has received a lot of media attention lately because of it. You can read all of his 100 Thing Challenge ideas at his blog. 

I know that I do not choose to reduce all of my personal possesions to 100 things. What about my books? My photos? My jewelry? Those are all beloved and sacred to me!

But do I have too much stuff? Yes.

Does it feel good to get rid of stuff no longer used, wanted or loved? Yes.

Does releasing stuff create space? Yes.

So I have embarked on my own 100 Thing Challenge which is to release 100 Things from my posession. Decluttering always feels good and if I have something that someone else could enjoy that is no longer serving me, that makes me even happier.

So far, I have released 43 items. 10 pieces of jewelry, 19 articles of clothing, 5 pairs of shoes and 9 other random knick-knacks. It felt good to donate some to a church yard sale (all proceeds went to our church) and some to Goodwill.

I would have written about this sooner, but I've been busy releasing my 100 Things...

Anyone care to join me? I invite you to comment!

The wildly successful author of the Harry Potter book series delivers her 2008 commencement address "The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination."

Click here to watch the video or read the transcript. Funny, poignant, inspiring! Well worth your time!

Life is busy. Life is full. Life is complicated. I get sidetracked. Or I get stingy. Or I just plain forget.

But I have a roof over my head and food on my table and I can afford gas for my car. I am very, very, very grateful for the wonderful life that I have and for the opportunities that I've been given.

Sometimes I need a little nudge, a reminder, that a little money goes a long way.

One of my favorite inspirational websites www.tut.com is starting a great program called "Gifts from the Universe" and this month they are highlighting the Global giving Relief Funds for China and Myanmar. Click here to donate. I just did.

It's easy. It's fast. And it matters.

The saying "Think Globally, Act Locally" is a good one but I also think that "Think Globally, Act Globally" is equally important in these trying times.

Ah! Sweet retreat! I've just returned from 10 days out West and I'm feeling the expansiveness in my body, in my spirit, in my mind! I co-facilitated a one day retreat in NM and then attended a 6 day retreat in CO. I suspect I'll be writing in the coming weeks about some of my a-has and inspirations on my sojourn out west. But for now I want to encourage you, wherever you are, to take yourself on retreat ASAP!

My joyful co-facilitator, playpal, soul sister and dear friend Licia Berry and I recorded our second radio show 5 Elements for a Kick Butt Getaway! on The Celebration Station on Blog Talk Radio.  We did this after facilitating our retreat at Ghost Ranch and then experiencing the magic of the Echo Ampitheatre in Northern New Mexico (photo above). If you have 30 min to listen, click here and enjoy!

Or if you just want the quick skinny so you can start planning right away, here are the 5 key elements for retreat we highlight in our show:

1. Determine your purpose – why are you going? What do you need? To rest? To be in nature? To be alone? To connect with others? What are you craving?
2. Choose a great location – it can be your backyard, a local park, the beach or half way across the country. Make sure it’s a place that feels really good to you and will nourish you for a few hours or a few days.
3. Make it a multisensory experience – have yummy food, beautiful scenery, great music – or listen to the birds. Be aware of all your senses when experiencing retreat.
4. Create sacred space – create a little altar – something to mark the occasion. It can be with a candle or a rock or a pile of leaves – it doesn’t need to be fancy – but something to mark that this is sacred time and space for you to retreat
5. Pick a retreat process – retreats are more meaningful if you have a process to focus your energy – it can be journaling, hiking, collaging, focused conversation, walking a labyrinth. Something to focus your attention so your mind’s not wandering all over the place.

What is your favorite place to take yourself on retreat? Or where would you like to go on retreat? I invite you to comment below...

I co-facilitated a women's retreat last week with my dear friend and colleague Licia Berry at Ghost Ranch in Abiquiu, NM and guess who lives 15 minutes down the road? That's right - Judy!!!

After two years of relationship - and coaching can be a very personal, intimate, deep connection - we finally got to meet in person! It was wonderful!

I love the phone and I love e-mail and I've made authentic connections with people all over the world this way. But somehow a hug in person is just the best.

Judy introduced me to her husband, Wayne and her horses Jack, Madonna and Guapito. I soaked in all the details about her home, land and business. I'd heard about these for years and even seen photos but it's just not the same as being in person.

You can learn more about her business at Healing Through Horses. Thank you, Judy, for attending our retreat and for welcoming me to New Mexico with open arms! It was a joy to spend time with you!

Eileen is my friend who I call "the fun time girl" because she's the life of the party! We found just about everything worth giggling about during her wedding weekend! (Here she is getting ready being tended to by Jennifer, her maid of honor, and Mista, a fellow bridesmaid.)

I've determined that there are 4 key ingredients to make any gathering - a wedding, birthday party, holiday gathering or simply dinner with neighbors - a smashing success!

1. Family and Friends - it may be stating the obvious but the best celebrations in life involve the people we love the most. Weddings in particular are a wonderfully special time where all aspects of your life (from childhood to now!) can collide for a brief few hours. Eileen and Lars had people from all over the country (and 3 from overseas!) fly in for the weekend. It requires energy and effort on everyone's part but the end result is often priceless!

2. Ambiance - finding the right location and setting the mood for your gathering makes all the difference in the world. Eileen knew that she wanted to get married at the beach. Even though the weather didn't cooperate for the bridal party to take photos on the sand, just being near the ocean with the salty air and the breeze put everyone in the spirit!

3. Planning with Intention - Eileen comes from a large Irish Catholic family from New Jersey - Lars comes from a small Baptist family from Georgia. Definitely two different worlds! So they combined elements of the two to make for a rich experience for all. For example, during their ceremony, two of the readings were from their favorite performers - Alan Jackson and Jon Bon Jovi!

4. Sacred Elements - there were many holy and divinely inspired moments during the weekend. Exchanging vows is usually a very sacred ritual and their Celtic hand tying ceremony was touching and beautiful. Another sacred moment came when Eileen's three nieces did a dance routine they'd learned in school. Perhaps it wasn't a "traditional" sacred moment but anything that inspires delight, bring joys or move people to tears is considered sacred in my book.

My favorite part of the whole weekend was when Dexie's Midnight Runners (remember them?!) blasted "Come On Eileen!" and the place went wild! Eileen's brothers hoisted her up on their shoulders, everyone rushed to the dance floor to boogie and there was my friend for 17 years ~ Bean~ beaming in the middle of the crowd of friends and family as she kicked up her heels with her new husband.

It doesn't get much more sacred and precious than that!

My dear friend Licia Berry and I have finally done it! After months of talking about it (mostly Licia bugging me saying 'c'mon, Elizabeth - it's fun!' - she has 2 successful radio shows already on the air), we have launched The Celebration Station on Blog Talk Radio.

Our first episode is called "Much Ado About Mamas" and we spend 30 minutes talking about the mother figures in our lives - both the external real live women in our lives and the internal mothering we give to ourselves.

We chose this as our first topic because of the upcoming Mother's Day holiday and our Loving Your Inner Feminine retreat in New Mexico on Saturday, May 10th.

Whether you can join us in New Mexico or simply want to take time reflecting on the mothers in your life and the mothering you give to yourself, I encourage you to click here to listen, learn and be inspired to celebrate all that you've learned from the mothers in your life and be reminded that even once you're grown, you can still mother yourself!

This is the e-mail message I received from TUT today.

"Kindness always wins, Elizabeth.

Always, always, always.

-- The Universe"

I really needed to hear that. In the past two weeks, I've noticed myself getting angry and agitated a lot - mostly at other people. I'm not easily upset so I've been looking for the gift in these situations. What am I to learn from these experiences?

"Do I know the whole story?" 

Eric and I received poor customer service a few weeks ago when renting a condo down at the beach. I got really angry that the employee was rude to us, that they messed up our reservation, etc. But after taking time to reflect as I walked the beach (always a great place to contemplate life!) I realized that I didn't know the whole story.

Maybe that employee had a horrible morning and was late to work. Maybe someone important to her had hurt her or was sick or had died. Maybe she felt trapped in a job she didn't enjoy. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

By considering all the possible options, I was able to realize that her treatment of us wasn't because we had done something wrong but was a symptom of something happening in her life. Something I wasn't aware of. Something that had nothing to do with me/us.

Making this discovery allowed me to have more compassion for her. I had initially filled out the guest comment survey and wanted her manager to know of my dissatisfaction. But I decided not to mail it afterall. That would only service my ego and give it the illusion of being powerful and "right". Instead, my authentic self, my spirit self just wants to send that employee my good thoughts and compassion and hope that she was just having a bad day.

Acting with kindness and releasing that anger and negativity feels very freeing. I am once again reminded that stepping back, asking "Do I know the whole story?" and not making assumptions or judgements is a very loving, authentic and powerful place from which to live your life.

Where have you had a similar experience in your life?

Yoga has been such a gift in my life since I moved to Florida last summer. I had done yoga on and off over the years but with no real "practice" to speak of. Now I attend classes twice a week at Namaste in Tallahassee - Mondays with Kathy and Geralyn and Thursdays with Charlene - and feel dynamite as a result!

If you are seeking:

- Clarity of mind

- Connection to Source

- A strong and fit body (relieve tension, improve flexibility, strengthen your core)

- Community of like minded people

then I highly recommend yoga - no matter where you live or what you do or who you are. It's important to find a style that works for you and a teacher that you can trust. I like the non-competitive style of classes at Namaste... my teachers emphasize over and over again "do what's right for you!"

Yesterday Kathy and Geralyn taught us the three A's and as I've been contemplating them for 24 hours, I realize that the three A's can be applied in all areas of your life - not just in yoga class!

1. Awareness - Notice how you're feeling. Notice your body. Notice your environment. Simply pay attention and listen for messages.

2. Acceptance - Don't judge yourself! Stop worrying about "do I look funny?" or "he's doing it better than I am" or "I'm not good enough". Start acknowledging that you're perfect exactly as you are and with what you're doing.

3. Adjustment - Move toward what feels good. Making subtle changes can give you great rewards. And sometimes, stopping what you're doing and trying something completely different is  the answer. Experiment and see what fits for you.

Neale Donald Walsch's Home with God ~ In a Life That Never Ends literally sprouted legs and packed itself in my suitcase a few weeks ago for a weekend trip. Eric & I have been dealing with grief and loss the past few months with the death of a friend, the serious illness of a close family member and the transition from leaving our beloved Asheville to our new home in beautiful Tallahassee. It's all left me searching for answers to questions I didn't realize I had.

One of my best friends has been bugging me to read this book for two years now. I am finally ready to receive it. One of the primary messages I have received from this book is that if we can learn to accept death and not fear it, then we can fully embrace life.

I have done a lot of underlining and dog-earing this book but the "100 Word Formula for All of Life" is worthy of sharing here.

Hope is the doorway to belief, belief is the doorway to knowing, knowing is the doorway to creation, and creation is the doorway to experience.

Experience is the doorway to expression, expression is the doorway to becoming, becoming is the activity of all life and the only function of God.

What you hope, you will eventually believe, what you believe, you will eventually know, what you know, you will eventually create, what you create, you will eventually experience, what you experience, you will eventually express, what you express, you will eventually become.

This is the formula for all of life. It is as simple as that.

Thoughts? Comments? Was this as powerful for you as it was for me when I first read it? You can read more about Neale Donald Walsch and his work here.

May love and laughter light your days,
and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world
with joy that long endures.
May all life's passing seasons
bring the best to you and yours!

~ An old Irish Blessing

My first instinct today was to run out and buy bushels of flowers! The uber-sunshine and crystal blue skies of a Florida winter are intoxicating! I love wandering in a nursery and choosing my favorite new spring flowers. It's so refreshing and joyful and makes me feel ALIVE.

But then I had a sobering thought...

Flowers sure would be pretty right now but what about all those weeds? Wouldn't I be smart to take care of those first and then plant new happy flowers?

Weeds

- take up space

- look unattractive

- steal vital nutrients and water from other healthy plants

- can strangle or overwhelm other plants

Weeding is a good metaphor for life, I think. Getting rid of what is old, dead, bothersome or in the way is healthy ...for your plants and your life!

After you weed, you feel great, right?

- Your yard and garden look clean and inviting.

- There's space for your current plants to flourish and new plants to be introduced.

- You feel a sense of accomplishment for ridding yourself of unnecessary excess.

What do YOU need to weed out of your life?  Is it paper clutter, old clothes, unhealthy relationships, less-than-optimal foods, negative self-talk, limiting beliefs that hold you back from living your best life? Sometimes it's something mundane and simple. Sometimes it's something bigger and more profound. Whatever it is, it is likely holding you back in some way and addressing it NOW will help you feel cleaner, clearer, lighter and stronger!

If you're not sure what it is, I'd suggest getting out in your garden and get your hands in the dirt. As you let your body do the work and remove physical real-life weeds, your mind will wander and suddenly it will be really clear really fast just what other figurative weeds (thoughts, things or both!) need to be removed from your life.

After the garden, I'm heading to my closet...!