Me, Afraid of Networking? You bet!
Yep, it's true! People who know me well know that I'm a flaming extrovert. I love people. I love their stories. I love learning about their work and their families and their lives. People tell me I'm a natural networker. But getting started - with a new group or in a new town or in my case, BOTH - really brings up the FEARS for me.
As I was driving to my first BNI meeting in my new city earlier this week, I had butterflies in my stomach and thought I was going to throw up. I have attended hundreds of business luncheons and networking events over the years, but those old nagging fears rear their ugly head from time to time.
I plan to teach some teleclasses and workshops this coming fall on the subject of networking, so I thought (as I sat in my car before the meeting and double checked my teeth for the 3rd time to make sure I didn't have lipstick on them or any leftover breakfast bites) to myself: "How appropos this is! I've been so confident networking in Asheville because I knew so many people, but I have forgotten that a lot of people are really afraid to network. It's good to get in touch with these fears again so that when I teach the subject again, I have some renewed compassion and remember what it's like to feel terrified to walk into a room full of strangers!" (Sometimes being a coach is bizarre when you can observe your own process of freaking out from a calm and logical place!)
Here's what was running through my head before that meeting...
Common Fears About Networking:
1. Will they like me? Tip: This is a normal human being ego fear. The real answer is that some people will like you and some won't and that's OK!
2. What if I don't dress right? Tip: Call the organizer of an event before you attend if possible and ask about the dress code. When in doubt, always better to be overdressed than underdressed.
3. What if I can't remember anyone's name? Tip: Ask for their business card right away and then try to use their name 3 times in the first few minutes of meeting them.
4. What if I ask stupid questions? Tip: Make a list of questions before you attend the event and refer to it while you're there.
5. What if I have broccoli in my teeth? Tip: Don't order broccoli or spinach for lunch! :-)
What are YOUR networking fears? I invite you to comment...
Networking and Fear
Fear is a normal part of being a human being. There are many uncertanties that we will face. Susan RoAne says that 88% of people think they are shy and that they in fact shy away from the opportunity to attend meetings, conferences, parties, etc., to avoid the discomfort of being nervous, getting sweaty palms, or having heart thumps. I personally go back to the rules of speaking, always smile and think good thoughts and that tends to get me ready to go before the crowd.