Entries For: September 2007

So what did I do?

The obvious: pack, clean, throw things away, donate things, sell things, clean some more, pack some more, paint, unpack, clean the new house, give more things away (we moved that WHY?), get lost, lots of trips to big box hardware stores, clean some more (how do we even reach cobwebs with 15 foot ceilings?!), care for our cat who had ACL surgery the week we moved here

The decadent: sleep late, swim in our new pool, read good books (Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides was one of the best movels I've ever read!), journal, take the dog hiking, discover new places, talk to girlfriends, meditate regularly, cook (yes, I'm not making this up - I actually cooked a lot of real meals during my time off!), spend time with family who now live a mere 4 hrs away instead of 10 hrs away

The benefits: I didn't go crazy trying to keep working AND relocate my family, I slowed down and didn't hurry so much, I really listened to my body and honored when it was tired and stressed from the move, I got some great ideas for my business while hiking with my dog, I decluttered my life and got rid of unwanted "stuff"

As a result of these "6 weeks off", I will take even more time off in the future. It gave me great perspective on all aspects of my life and I realize the more room I have to just BE allows me to sink more authentically into my true self.

I invite you to share your experiences of "taking time off" whether it's an afternoon, a day, a week, a month or a year!

Ever have one of those days? Things start off bad and they just get worse and worse?

Me, too. And yesterday I made a conscious choice that I didn't want to have a day like that.

After I got the cats taken care of and my husband off to work, I returned to the haven of my bedroom and meditated for 20 minutes. Ah, bliss!

Immediately, I felt better but still knew it wasn't enough. So even though I had a busy day ahead, I made a point to take the dog for a walk in the beautiful sunshine. There was actually a breeze and I thought (for the first time in 6 weeks!) that maybe the Florida weather isn't so bad afterall...

Meditation and exercise are great ways to "restart your day" but the thing to remember is that it's always a choice. You could continue on the snowball of "oh boy! This one's gonna be a doozie!"

OR you can stop and decide. Do you want to have a bad day or a good day? The choice is yours.

How will YOU restart your day the next time it starts off kind of wonky? :-)

1. Read the local paper. In the business section, there will be a list of networking events. Chamber of Commerce meetings. Toastmasters groups. Women in Business. Leads Groups. Service groups (Rotary, Kiwanis, Lions Club, etc)

2. Identify several choices. Which groups sound interesting? Did they have a photo in the paper - would you like to meet those people? What days and times are convenient for you?

3. Pick one and put it in your calendar. Just one. Make sure it feels right. Imagine yourself attending the event and having a great time.

4. Contact the organizer. Usually the paper will list a contact person with a phone number or e-mail address. Contact them to find out location, ask about dress code and to make sure it's OK for you to attend.

5. Go. Attend. Show Up. Do whatever you have to to get yourself there. Set your alarm earlier than usual. Call a friend who will not allow you to back down.

1. It had Structure and I love Structure! I chose BNI as my first meeting to attend because I know the ropes, having been a member for 3 1/2 years. It's an international organization designed to help businesses cultivate referrals with a wonderful motto of "Givers Gain". If you have never attended a BNI meeting, I strongly encourage you to find a chapter in your area.

2. Being new to town is an advantage. People take pity on you and feel they have to be nice to you. Actually, I think people in Tallahassee are just generally nice and this meeting was no exception. Several people welcomed me to town, asked me plenty of questions.

3. It's a small, small world. The gentleman that I sat next to at lunch is from my husband's hometown of Bristol, TN and their families go to the same church! He was super friendly and even bought my lunch! What a guy! Thanks Ryland Musick!

4. I created some "next steps" for myself. I have scheduled lunch with two of the members and am attending a Chamber of Commerce Business After Hours with two others.

5. I feel hopeful. Networking in a new place or even in the place you've been living (but haven't gotten out very much!) can be intimidating. Having one positive experience can really encourage you to keep putting yourself "out there" and making connections.

As I was driving to my first BNI meeting in my new city earlier this week, I had butterflies in my stomach and thought I was going to throw up. I have attended hundreds of business luncheons and networking events over the years, but those old nagging fears rear their ugly head from time to time.

I plan to teach some teleclasses and workshops this coming fall on the subject of networking, so I thought (as I sat in my car before the meeting and double checked my teeth for the 3rd time to make sure I didn't have lipstick on them or any leftover breakfast bites) to myself: "How appropos this is! I've been so confident networking in Asheville because I knew so many people, but I have forgotten that a lot of people are really afraid to network. It's good to get in touch with these fears again so that when I teach the subject again, I have some renewed compassion and remember what it's like to feel terrified to walk into a room full of strangers!"  (Sometimes being a coach is bizarre when you can observe your own process of freaking out from a calm and logical place!)

Here's what was running through my head before that meeting...

Common Fears About Networking:

1. Will they like me? Tip: This is a normal human being ego fear. The real answer is that some people will like you and some won't and that's OK!

2. What if I don't dress right? Tip: Call the organizer of an event before you attend if possible and ask about the dress code. When in doubt, always better to be overdressed than underdressed.

3. What if I can't remember anyone's name? Tip: Ask for their business card right away and then try to use their name 3 times in the first few minutes of meeting them.

4. What if I ask stupid questions? Tip: Make a list of questions before you attend the event and refer to it while you're there.

5. What if I have broccoli in my teeth? Tip: Don't order broccoli or spinach for lunch! :-)

What are YOUR networking fears? I invite you to comment...

To catch you up on our journey, my husband was transferred with his employer so the last few months we've been pulling up roots from our beloved mountains and attempting to nest in our new environs.

We DO love the city of Tallahassee - it's got lots of parks and trees and lakes and a great arts community and super-friendly people. We also love our home - it's bright and cheery and even has a pool (yippee!).

But we haven't sold our house in Asheville yet and we're missing three rooms of furniture (since we bought some new items and it's all about 6 weeks late!). So we are still living in boxes and ordering out for Chinese and pizza on a regular basis and feel like we're living in limbo.

I returned to work this week after a 6 week hiatus and it feels great to reconnect with my clients. I will attend my first business networking luncheon today (a BNI meeting) and will report in a future entry tips and ideas for networking in a new town.