Entries For: 2007

Eric and I in our new home, Tallahassee, FL

December 2007

Check out Damaris Pierce's website to see my inspired artwork (yep, that's mine right there on the home page as soon as you open it!) or visit www.iamthankful.com to learn more about Damaris' project to encourage people everywhere to express their gratitude. It's some really cool stuff that she's up to and I, for one, am honored to participate.

During this season of giving, perhaps you can express your gratitude in a postcard and send it in to Damaris' Worldwide Gratitude Project. Pretty cool, eh? :-)

P.S. This would be a great activity to do with children during the holiday season...

It's HOT down here... in the 70s and while it certainly is beautiful weather - blue sky, white puffy clouds, green, lush foliage - it's still HOT! For me, it's kind of like scuba diving which I never could get a hang of. Breathing underwater is just not natural. And having this kind of weather and decorating palm trees in December is just WEIRD! People say I"ll get used to it, but I miss the cooler weather of the mountains.

So, I'm dreaming of SNOW to keep me cool! I'm good at visualization but a photo helps.

This photo was taken of me and my dear friend Licia Berry on a trip to Colorado last year. It was VERY cold and there was LOTS of snow. YAY! Well, Licia and her family are escaping their cold environs for a week and are coming to Florida over the holidays. I'm so excited I get to see her and her sweet family! Many of my blog readers know Licia because she used to live in Asheville too! Check out her family's amazing adventures of traveling the country by visiting their family website.

Not only do we get to visit together, we are going to PLAY together in a formal way! On New Year's Day, we are hosting a workshop for women called "Create a Great 2008!" in Tallahassee from 3-6 p.m. We'll be doing guided imagery, collaging and setting clear intentions for the year ahead. Juicy, fun stuff!

Forget football, come join us on New Year's Day! You can register here.

And if you don't live in the Big Bend area, consider organizing a gathering yourself on New Year's Day! It's a fun way to kick off the new year with intention and joy! Need help? E-mail me for ideas!

In our "Get Off the Holiday Crazy Bus" teleclass last week, Licia Berry and I had a terrific group of wise women who shared some wonderful strategies for practicing self-care during the hectic holiday season.

1. Honor How You Feel. This time of year is touted to be festive and fun and yet a lot of us experience complex emotions like grief and sadness and depression. Allow those feelings to be part of your experience and seek professional help from a therapist or personal help from a friend or family member to support you if you need it.

2. Spend Time In Nature. As one participant explained it "My whole system relaxes. I get away from the 'doing' and focus on the 'being'. I get to soak in what's real and I feel centered and grateful." So whether it's a hike in the woods or simply sitting on your back porch for a few minutes each day, time outside can do wonders for the spirit.

3. Be Playful. Be intentional about seeking fun and laughter during this time of year. Watch the Comedy Channel, go to a comedy club, see a silly play, spend time with children and/or pets and just laugh. It will boost your spirits for sure!

4.Thursday night bubble baths!

5. Get regular massage.

6. Meditate and stretch. Daily.

7. Listen to good music. Whatever makes you feel VIBRANT.

8. Enjoy good food. Whether you are cooking it or eating it, make eating healthy, yummy, nourishing food part of your holiday season. Bless your food and express gratitude for the fuel that keeps you juiced up and alive!

And just for kicks... the one that had us all rolling with laughter... when all else fails...

9. Eat ice cream out of the carton! :-)

The group was founded by Diana Kennedy, a ministerial assistant at Unity Church, a massage therapist and all around inspired woman! I'm delighted to finally meet this charismatic, high-energy lover of life. If she weren't moving, I'm sure this is someone with whom I would become good friends. But Diana has another calling - she's headed to the midwest to go to ministerial school and seems to be following her true path.

I can tell the Tallahassee community is sad to see her leave and yet she's created at least one experience that is sure to live on after she's gone. The Goddess Luncheon, which meets monthly, is for women who self-proclaim to be goddesses! People were festively dressed, Diana sprinkled us all with fairy dust and waved her magic wand and we all felt loved and supported.

The conversation was 100% positive and uplifting. Women talked about "creating our reality" and "leading with love and light". There was mention of The Secret, Abraham-Hicks, TUT and more! It's so refreshing to meet like-minded folks!

I will definitely be back and am thankful to have met so many inspired and inspiring women! Thank you, Tallahassee, for welcoming me with open arms. I feel like I am finding my tribe!

Self Care Strategy:

Turn off all the lights, make yourself a cup of tea, and enjoy the warm glow of a Christmas tree late at night while others are asleep

Gift Giving Strategy:

Shop locally! Buy gifts that you can't get at the mall. That way, they'll be unique and you'll support local businesses.

Gift Receiving Strategy:

Tell people exactly what you would like or need for the holidays. Make a wish list. Be clear. You help your friends and family know what to get you ... and you get something that will make you happy!

Holiday Card Sending Strategy:

In each person's card, share with them the following: "What I really appreciate about you is..."

Decorating Strategy:

Only put out what you really really really love. Go through the rest and donate to your favorite charity so you don't have to store it or unpack it again next year and groan.

Family Strategy:

When gathered with relatives, ask everyone to share their favorite holiday memories. You'll probably learn some things you never knew (asking grandparents to participate in this is always special) and be reminded of holiday traditions that you may choose to resurrect.

Care to add any of your own? Please comment!

Intellectually, I know that making new friends takes time when you move to a new place. I've moved 8 times in 16 years. I've got experience. I know this in my brain.

But I was allowing myself to get caught up in the pity party and get dragged into the muck "Oh this is so hard. Oh I miss my friends. I feel so sad. I'm lonely. blah blah blah"

Well, I've been listening to Sonia Choquette's Trust Your Vibes CD set lately and I listened to a particularly powerful segment on Monday morning. She said when you want to shake things up and really set powerful intentions, start your day (and continue throughout the day as you're inspired) with stating the following:

I LOVE MY LIFE!

I EXPECT GREAT THINGS!

I WONDER WHAT WONDERFUL THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN FOR ME TODAY!

So, I decided to try it that day.

Within 48 hours, I was contacted by at least 4 different people saying "Hey, we heard you're new to town. Welcome!" and inviting me to various things - workshops, lunch, going for a walk, etc.

Now, I realize that I have been planting seeds for making connections for a few months now. But I don't think it's just coincidence that once I finally made up my mind that I was ready to receive, that the Universe rewarded me immediately.

Try it. Use Sonia's words. Watch and see what happens. And let me know about it...

You can view Shonnie's thoughtful blog entry here.

I like to think that I live my life with an "attitude of gratitude". Sometimes it's only for 5 minutes at the end of a day where I take time to count my blessings. Other times, it's several times throughout the day that I'll say a quick prayer of thanks to acknowledge I know that my life is really quite amazing (like on my recent trip to St. Thomas - more on that in a future blog!).

Shonnie asked "How has gratitude changed your life?" My responses are below:

1. Gratitude anchors me in the JOY and BLISS of being alive. Taking time to express gratitude allows me to celebrate the little moments that make life extraordinary. Enjoying a sunset, holding a hand, listening to classical music, smelling a rose, watching the first snow fall... these make life worth living!

2. Gratitude removes me from the DRAMA of being human. Stepping back from my ego-self allows me to live more fully in my spirit-self. From this place, there is no drama and only the unfolding of what is with no judgment and only love.

3. Gratitude helps me to SLOW DOWN. It's so easy to get caught up in "go, go, go" and "do, do, do" but taking time to acknowledge when you're grateful is a great time to stop and breathe deeply.

4. Gratitude helps me to be more INTENTIONAL with my choices. Whether it's spending my time, my energy or my dollars, being aware of where I'm grateful helps me make smart choices. For example, I'm so grateful to have found Namaste, my yoga studio here in Tallahassee, so I make it a point to go to yoga weekly.

Shonnie also asked "What most profoundly evokes your gratitude?" For me, it's...

- Spending quality time with loved ones (human and furry!)

- Travel and getting a new perspective on the world

- Lightbulb moments that my clients experience in a 1:1 coaching session, teleclass or workshop and knowing that I am of service in that moment

- News of my brother Bradley and knowing he's safe. He's a Marine and has been stationed in Iraq for almost a year now.

- Hiking in the woods or walking by the ocean on a sunny day

So, dear reader, how has gratitude changed your life? What most profoundly evokes your gratitude? I invite you to comment below.

She's a wise woman. She knows I am very conscious and well-educated about my health issues and the choices I make. (I've been receiving acupuncture and other forms of alternative medicine for a decade or more.)

Once again, I was defaulting to our society's familiar notion "Ask the experts. They can fix me. " instead of relying on my body's own wisdom and innate knowledge.

I've had my head in the sand for the past few months, eating foods that "comfort" me but don't bode well for my digestion. I've had my head in the sand choosing to lay on the couch and watch mindless soap operas instead of taking my dog out for an afternoon walk. I've had my head in the sand avoiding seeking medical support and hoping that my health issues would "just go away".

How refreshing to have a health care practitioner who essentially said to me in very polite and professional terms "Get your head out of the sand and look at what you're doing! Trust your body. Stop ignoring the signals! Trust yourself! Listen to your intuition!"

That's one thing I love about holistic health care. By and large, these practitioners partner with you to cultivate the wisdom in your body to promote healing. They don't feign to be "experts" or to "know it all".

So... I do know what to do... how to eat well, how to exercise properly and how to nourish myself physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

My head is out of the sand once again and it's so much easier to breathe up here! :-)

What do you have your head in the sand about?

(By the way, the photo is of our dog, Andy, with his head in the sand at Cape San Blas this past weekend. He was actually digging for a sand crab but I thought this photo seemed somewhat appropos...!)

"The food we eat, the thoughts we think and the words we speak create how we feel about ourselves now and in the future."

"The definition of enlightenment is being willing to look within and see ourselves without judgment."

Wise woman, eh?

I give the folks at The Green Peridot a big gold star for their customer service savvy. Why was my experience there great?

1.They were professional and inviting. Everything they did up front - their website, my initial scheduling appointment, their confirmation call - all said in essence "We're glad to hear from you and we look forward to serving you. Your business matters to us."

2. They were personal, too. When I walked in the door, both front desk people greeted me with smiles and as soon as I explained who I was, my new hair stylist, Suzi, came out to greet me and shook me by the hand and said "Hi, I'm Suzi!" (I've been amazed at how many people do not follow this simple rule of good business etiquette!)

3. They were good problem solvers. Apparently, Suzi's schedule got a little wonky today and she was running 30 minutes late when I arrived. But they had a plan. First, they'd tried to call me to avert the problem but I'd already left the house. Then when I arrived, Suzi explained to me my options "I'm so sorry, I'm running late. Do you have some other errands you could do? Would you like to shop in the area? You could sit and read? Or we could reschedule you for another day. Whatever you would like."

She left the choice up to me which felt SO great! How many times do you sit waiting for an appointment and feel annoyed because you feel "trapped"? I chose to run errands which worked out great for me.

4. They offered good ideas and resources. I'm new to town and still get lost and don't know many people. Suzi gave me some great tips on shortcuts around town and where to go to meet people we might enjoy.

5. The owner introduced herself to me as I was checking out. When she overheard I was new to town, she approached me and shook my hand, asked me a few questions about myself and thanked me for my business.

So, I just popped my thank you note in the mail (yes, snail mail, I decided this deserved a stamp!)to the folks at The Green Peridot and I'll definitely be returning there.

Think about your own business - do you consistently provide great customer service? If not, what small changes could you make to have big results?

Think about other businesses you frequent - when was the last time you acknowledged someone for doing a great job? I'd encourage you to try it...it made me feel great to write a thank you note and I imagine they'll be tickled to receive it.

What do you think are other hallmarks of good customer service? Please comment... I'd love to hear your ideas!

I saw inspirational powerhouse speakers and authors Louise Hay, Caroline Myss, Doreen Virtue, Sonia Choquette, Colette Baron-Reid and Denise Linn. The overarching theme of the weekend was the notion that our intuition, what several speakers referred to as our "sixth sense", is one of our greatest resources. They talked about the exhaustion and frustration of being controlled by our ego as compared to the joy and ease of being led by our spirit.

I will be exploring the topic more in depth in the coming weeks but for now, I want you to consider the following:

- How does your intuition speak to you? In feelings, physically ("my gut tells me..."), words ("the little voice in my head..."), symbols, coincidence or serendipitous occurrences, or simply a knowing?

- When does your intuition speak to you? When you are... praying? meditating? in the shower? making an important decision? petting your cat or walking your dog?

- What does your intuition say? "Talk to that person at the meeting", "Turn right here", "Take next Friday off", "write that down!", "quit your job", "cancel that meeting", "change lanes now!" even when those things don't make logical sense to our ego mind?

I have worked hard at developing (look at that ego language, will you?!)... let me try again... I have been more open and ready to listen to my intuition in the last few years. And what a positive and profound difference it has made in my life!

More on this topic soon...

It's kind of like horseshoes but with bean bags. Our friend Fritts made a corn hole set in his wood working studio and proudly shared it with us this weekend. We had a blast pitching the bean bags (filled with corn) into the hole (thus the name "corn hole") and perfecting the art of throwing bean bags!

We had the most fun playing in the parking lot in the rain tailgating before and after the game. Apparently it's a popular game up north and at NASCAR events, but it seems as though noone in Tallahassee had seen it played. We got some strange looks for sure! To learn more, visit the American Cornhole Association's website.

It's a fun, wholesome, easy to play, family friendly game. A nice change from being caught up with watching television...

When was the last time you played a fun, silly game outside in the rain? You could try croquet or kickball or frisbee or bocci at your next gathering.

But at our house, corn hole is the new favorite. Come visit us and we'll play!

Percy (foreground), Graham (on the left) and Jasper (in the background) are happy to help me with my work.

Problem is, there's barely enough room for ME at my desk! :-)

In addition to doing some consulting and training with some of my favorite clients in Asheville, NC at Horse Sense of the Carolinas and Windows on the Park, I managed to squeeze in visits with a variety of friends. It was wonderful AND I returned home exhausted, drained and craving sleep. I tried to pack too much into a short time.

In the past, I would have logged several hours on my computer catching up with e-mail and returning phone calls right away, but this time was different. My six weeks of "time off" encouraged me to make different choices.

My body gently but persistently called "you need  rest! " for the first 48 hours that I was home. So instead of pushing through my discomfort (fever, congestion, aches, etc), I decided to listen. I slept, laid on the couch, watched TV, read and relaxed.

Now I feel ready to play "catch up". I think...

When was the last time you listened to your body's messages?

So what did I do?

The obvious: pack, clean, throw things away, donate things, sell things, clean some more, pack some more, paint, unpack, clean the new house, give more things away (we moved that WHY?), get lost, lots of trips to big box hardware stores, clean some more (how do we even reach cobwebs with 15 foot ceilings?!), care for our cat who had ACL surgery the week we moved here

The decadent: sleep late, swim in our new pool, read good books (Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides was one of the best movels I've ever read!), journal, take the dog hiking, discover new places, talk to girlfriends, meditate regularly, cook (yes, I'm not making this up - I actually cooked a lot of real meals during my time off!), spend time with family who now live a mere 4 hrs away instead of 10 hrs away

The benefits: I didn't go crazy trying to keep working AND relocate my family, I slowed down and didn't hurry so much, I really listened to my body and honored when it was tired and stressed from the move, I got some great ideas for my business while hiking with my dog, I decluttered my life and got rid of unwanted "stuff"

As a result of these "6 weeks off", I will take even more time off in the future. It gave me great perspective on all aspects of my life and I realize the more room I have to just BE allows me to sink more authentically into my true self.

I invite you to share your experiences of "taking time off" whether it's an afternoon, a day, a week, a month or a year!

Ever have one of those days? Things start off bad and they just get worse and worse?

Me, too. And yesterday I made a conscious choice that I didn't want to have a day like that.

After I got the cats taken care of and my husband off to work, I returned to the haven of my bedroom and meditated for 20 minutes. Ah, bliss!

Immediately, I felt better but still knew it wasn't enough. So even though I had a busy day ahead, I made a point to take the dog for a walk in the beautiful sunshine. There was actually a breeze and I thought (for the first time in 6 weeks!) that maybe the Florida weather isn't so bad afterall...

Meditation and exercise are great ways to "restart your day" but the thing to remember is that it's always a choice. You could continue on the snowball of "oh boy! This one's gonna be a doozie!"

OR you can stop and decide. Do you want to have a bad day or a good day? The choice is yours.

How will YOU restart your day the next time it starts off kind of wonky? :-)

1. Read the local paper. In the business section, there will be a list of networking events. Chamber of Commerce meetings. Toastmasters groups. Women in Business. Leads Groups. Service groups (Rotary, Kiwanis, Lions Club, etc)

2. Identify several choices. Which groups sound interesting? Did they have a photo in the paper - would you like to meet those people? What days and times are convenient for you?

3. Pick one and put it in your calendar. Just one. Make sure it feels right. Imagine yourself attending the event and having a great time.

4. Contact the organizer. Usually the paper will list a contact person with a phone number or e-mail address. Contact them to find out location, ask about dress code and to make sure it's OK for you to attend.

5. Go. Attend. Show Up. Do whatever you have to to get yourself there. Set your alarm earlier than usual. Call a friend who will not allow you to back down.

1. It had Structure and I love Structure! I chose BNI as my first meeting to attend because I know the ropes, having been a member for 3 1/2 years. It's an international organization designed to help businesses cultivate referrals with a wonderful motto of "Givers Gain". If you have never attended a BNI meeting, I strongly encourage you to find a chapter in your area.

2. Being new to town is an advantage. People take pity on you and feel they have to be nice to you. Actually, I think people in Tallahassee are just generally nice and this meeting was no exception. Several people welcomed me to town, asked me plenty of questions.

3. It's a small, small world. The gentleman that I sat next to at lunch is from my husband's hometown of Bristol, TN and their families go to the same church! He was super friendly and even bought my lunch! What a guy! Thanks Ryland Musick!

4. I created some "next steps" for myself. I have scheduled lunch with two of the members and am attending a Chamber of Commerce Business After Hours with two others.

5. I feel hopeful. Networking in a new place or even in the place you've been living (but haven't gotten out very much!) can be intimidating. Having one positive experience can really encourage you to keep putting yourself "out there" and making connections.

As I was driving to my first BNI meeting in my new city earlier this week, I had butterflies in my stomach and thought I was going to throw up. I have attended hundreds of business luncheons and networking events over the years, but those old nagging fears rear their ugly head from time to time.

I plan to teach some teleclasses and workshops this coming fall on the subject of networking, so I thought (as I sat in my car before the meeting and double checked my teeth for the 3rd time to make sure I didn't have lipstick on them or any leftover breakfast bites) to myself: "How appropos this is! I've been so confident networking in Asheville because I knew so many people, but I have forgotten that a lot of people are really afraid to network. It's good to get in touch with these fears again so that when I teach the subject again, I have some renewed compassion and remember what it's like to feel terrified to walk into a room full of strangers!"  (Sometimes being a coach is bizarre when you can observe your own process of freaking out from a calm and logical place!)

Here's what was running through my head before that meeting...

Common Fears About Networking:

1. Will they like me? Tip: This is a normal human being ego fear. The real answer is that some people will like you and some won't and that's OK!

2. What if I don't dress right? Tip: Call the organizer of an event before you attend if possible and ask about the dress code. When in doubt, always better to be overdressed than underdressed.

3. What if I can't remember anyone's name? Tip: Ask for their business card right away and then try to use their name 3 times in the first few minutes of meeting them.

4. What if I ask stupid questions? Tip: Make a list of questions before you attend the event and refer to it while you're there.

5. What if I have broccoli in my teeth? Tip: Don't order broccoli or spinach for lunch! :-)

What are YOUR networking fears? I invite you to comment...

To catch you up on our journey, my husband was transferred with his employer so the last few months we've been pulling up roots from our beloved mountains and attempting to nest in our new environs.

We DO love the city of Tallahassee - it's got lots of parks and trees and lakes and a great arts community and super-friendly people. We also love our home - it's bright and cheery and even has a pool (yippee!).

But we haven't sold our house in Asheville yet and we're missing three rooms of furniture (since we bought some new items and it's all about 6 weeks late!). So we are still living in boxes and ordering out for Chinese and pizza on a regular basis and feel like we're living in limbo.

I returned to work this week after a 6 week hiatus and it feels great to reconnect with my clients. I will attend my first business networking luncheon today (a BNI meeting) and will report in a future entry tips and ideas for networking in a new town.