CHANGE: A Riley Friday Food for Thought
Thursday, January 19, 2012 at 3:29PM "Change is inevitable. Growth is optional." John C. Maxwell is sooo right. Life is filled with constant change but how we choose to grow (or not) is up to us.
On January 22, 2011 we got the call that would change our lives forever. At 4:30 a.m. we learned of a healthy baby girl who had been born just an hour previously and her mother wanted to place her in an open adoption. Were we interested? The next 36 hours were a whirlwind of emotion and activity. I remember arriving at the hospital at 4:30 on Sunday afternoon and being checked into a room with Eric and this teeny, tiny baby with dark hair who was sleeping soundly in her incubator. It is a treasured memory that is burned in my brain because it is my first of us as a "threesome". In that instant, we went from being a couple to being a family.
We knew we wanted to be parents. We were on the path to adopt a baby. We thought we were ready for change. But when it arrives so shockingly and so suddenly - we call it the "36 hour pregnancy"- it takes time for the mind, body and spirit to assimilate all that happened. There is a massive deconstruction that occurs on every level so that there is room and space to rebuild something new and different. There is a reason that most people have nine months of pregnancy. It's called time to get over the shock and awe of this new information and integrate the new reality into your being that a new little person is going to change your world forever!
So we got to do our "nine months" of integration and preparing for the new reality after the fact... and while raising said baby! :-) Now that Riley is about to turn a year old, it's a great time to reflect and see how we've managed the change and grown as a result.
1. I am more confident as a person now that I am a parent. We were born to do this. We are good parents. I guess this surprised me because I figured that it was something we had to learn how to do and read about and study up on. (And yes, we did some of that. There are way too many unread baby books around our house that I thought we needed in the early days.) But generally speaking, we are laid back, we are very present with our daughter, and we cherish our time as a family - as a threesome and with our extended family of loved ones who are part of our tribe helping to raise our baby.
2. I am not afraid to ask for help. I've also learned to gracefully receive it. Both Eric and I are very independent people and like to take care of things ourselves. But very quickly we learned that raising a child really does take a village. The night we checked into the hospital, we had friends shopping at Babies 'R Us buying diapers, formula, bottles, a crib and so much more so that when we got home, our home was prepared for our precious bundle. My best friend took a week off of work to stay home with us and help us adjust to our new reality. Our family members scrambled to get flights and come in to help us during the first month. Our church community fed us for an entire month.
3. I live in a state of gratitude every single day. I was a pretty happy person before Riley entered our lives but the loooong fertility journey had taken its toll on me, on Eric and on our marriage. We were worn out, grief stricken and tapped out emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially. Riley's arrival was like a breath of fresh air. We had hope again. We were excited about life. We finally felt like we were "on track" with our lives. (of course it took a few months to come out of the sleep deprived fog to realize all of this!) I count my blessings every single day because I now see how precious life really is and how it can change on a dime. In an instant, your life can be completely transformed.
Riley has taught us a lot in the past year. I believe in the old saying "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear" and I am clear that Eric and I are the students and Riley is our teacher.
For a while now, I've been getting a Universal nudge to include Riley in my work. I didn't know how until a few days ago when I was journaling, I realized that I needed to write about all that I've learned from this amazing being of light who is turning one in two more days. It seems fitting for me to be launching a "change" in my writing habits today as we enter her birthday weekend. The short term commitment is to write 12 weeks worth of "Riley Friday" blogs and see what shows up. See what resonates. For me as the writer. And equally importantly, for you as the reader.
My goal is not to have these Friday blogs become all about parenting but instead to look at the lessons I've learned as a new parent and see how it applies to being an entrepreneur, to living in the world, to making that shift from tired to inspired! I dare say that increasing confidence, asking for help and living in a state of gratitude are all things we strive for.
So I invite you, dear reader, to ask yourself "What change (big or small) is happening in my life right now - or do I want to invite into my life - and how do I wish to grow as a result?"
Reader Comments (5)
way to go Elizabeth.....great blog and I look forward to more. I love that youclose with a thought for us to take home and ponder
Elizabeth...
wow..your blog brought tears to my eyes, as I am a week away from my due date. I have been blessed to have much time to prepare for my baby's arrival and am in awe of how God provided for you and Eric and Riley in a New York Minute! It is inspiring to see the love for Riley and absolute joy which gushes forth from your face book posts and this blog. I am grateful to have you in my life...you inspire me to be a mom and reading your testimony has gotten me even more excited for the impending arrival of my little baby boy...sending love and blessings your way...
AnNA
thank you river!
Way to go EB! I'll never forget that phone call! You are a true inspiration! Happy Birthday to beautiful Riley.
Hi EF - my best business lesson from my kids came the first time one was really sick in the middle of the night. I thought "I have no idea what to do", but you have to do something, so I did. I figured if this doesn't work, I'll try something else. On the way to work the next morning it occurred to me what a great business lesson that was...if you have no idea what to do, especially when encountering something new (which is every day for most entrepreneurs) just try something. If that doesn't work, try something else until you find the solution that does. And that was only lesson #1...!